A Collection of Thoughts

The Universe is a monster

2011-10-19T03:13:00.003-05:00

And it feeds on sentient souls.

It has been over a year since my last entry in this blog. I'm writing this particular post after having read through the last few years here, and remembering how important it is to record how I progress mentally (and also note specific memories that I'd like to keep read on later).

I graduate this December, finally. It has been five and a half years. It feels like it has been even longer than that. There are very few people who started college with me who are still here.

I should be asleep right now, but a 5-day long LAN party has trained my brain not to sleep until around 6 in the morning. Hopefully, I will not (once again) forget this blog exists.

When we slide together

2010-09-08T04:13:00.004-05:00

We generate sparks.

Guilt, yes. I believe guilt is the primary culprit here.

This site is awesome. It is a lot of fun. If you're a nerd.

...

Don't question it!

When I get older

2010-09-07T02:58:00.002-05:00

I will be stronger.

One day, I hope I'll meet a woman who will put up with me, even though I won't have the slightest idea why.

I once knew a guy, obsessed with the afterlife

2010-08-23T01:50:00.002-05:00

Oh, what a terrible day that was.

I've been enjoying Starcraft 2 thoroughly. I will say that Zerg don't seem quite as blessed as the other two options, however.

I often wonder if I understand myself better than other people understand me. I'm of the impression that I'm a detrimentally complicated person, but it also occurs to me that this is a pretty common belief people have about themselves. I don't think anyone would disagree that I'm pretty weird, though. I guess I have that supporting my theory. Ultimately, I think it boils down to my capacity to accurately represent myself. Regardless of how complicated I am, if I could effectively communicate that, it may not even matter. That, sadly, I lack.

Life is a comedy for those who think

2010-08-06T22:36:00.002-05:00

And a tragedy for those who feel.

I find it interesting every time "Illegal Immigration" is compared to the European colonization of North America. Well, maybe it's more accurate to say I'm disappointed. I feel like the differences should be obvious. It's isolate of whether or not either is morally acceptable. Even more distressing is when persons who I believe to be intellectual buy this sort of trash, even use it themselves.

I'm enjoying Starcraft, a lot, but I'm still not exactly done sorting out whether or not I prefer it to Warcraft III. Perhaps I should say: why I like Warcraft III's premise and application better. Starcraft is certainly challenging, and it certainly requires both micro and strategy, but at the same time it feels so one-dimensional. There are so few things going on at any time. In any case, I enjoy it. Perhaps I'll deliver a more thorough comparison later.

I want my life to be extraordinary

2010-08-02T21:24:00.003-05:00

I don't know--it's just this feeling that haunts me all the time.

I recently beat Dragon Age: Origins, and while I had some problems with it, overall I enjoyed it--certainly more than Mass Effect 2. I intended to play through it a second time, despite my frustrations, but then I bought Starcraft 2. Hopes of playing pretty much anything else are quite unfounded.

I have a lot of problems with the Starcraft 2 (SC2) campaign as well, although none of them target the gameplay. While the gameplay in both Mass Effect 2 and Dragon Age had issues, I don't find myself annoyed by actually playing the SC2 campaign. The biggest qualms are with the narration, dialog, and plot.

Let's Go, Come On

2010-07-26T02:40:00.004-05:00

And don't forget that I like you!

If I am intelligent, than it is certainly beyond my capability to express it. Instead of internalizing this deep wisdom however, I voice a thought or two and drag myself into a debate that I lack the verbal finesse to successfully manage. It's... sub-optimal.

Your love keeps you wishin'.

2010-05-24T07:21:00.002-05:00

My heart keeps me broke.

I've spent the last two hours camping a mob on EverQuest. Well, two mobs. I'm jumping back and forth between my Druid and my Ranger.

Oh, how I have fallen.

I remember when every day was mine

2010-05-01T03:36:00.003-05:00

And I owned every minute of my time.

When I came back from my military training, there was no break, as I expected. I had a full time job within a week, and (through scheduling oddities) had drill for two weekends in a row. By mid-October, I pretty much had a girlfriend. I never gave myself time to exhale. I gained a lot from that job, and I had many good times with that girl; and yet, here I sit, almost wholly regretting how I spent my Fall. It was supposed to be something so much different than what it was. I really shot myself in the foot.

I suppose, at this point, it's foolish to regret it, especially considering that I did gain much from it. However, I am haunted by the idea that although I've come a long way since that May, I am still not where I was supposed to be.

I hold hope out for this summer. I will have to spend about a month of it in more training. Outside of that, however, I will have no obligations, and few responsibilities.

I think wisely

2010-03-08T03:20:00.003-06:00

but act in an absurd fashion.

I slept all last evening, when I should have been doing homework. I find sleep to be a major inhibitor of progress.

My replacement motherboard should arrive later today, which is excellent. I've managed to almost correct my sleep schedule, so I should also be able to install and enjoy it. By this evening, I will hopefully be able to make a post to this blog from my gaming computer.

While my gaming computer was absent, I spent some of my leisure time with my 360. While I found Modern Warfare 2's campaign to be staggeringly idiotic, I have come to enjoy Tales of Vesperia--which is good, because I wanted to. I very much enjoyed Tales of Symphonia.

The Army has introduced a few interesting variables, even given that I'm in the Army. The first, I have been enrolled in Air Assault training over the summer through ROTC. So, come June 5, I will begin learning how to rappel out of helicopters. I will be attending LDAC directly thereafter, finishing around July 16. Second, my unit has been given a "Notification of Sourcing", which acts as a "heads up--your unit is pending deployment". My unit is currently set for deployment in March 2012, directly following my graduation and commission.

Trapped in another way

2010-02-17T17:17:00.002-06:00

It feels just like the ground.

I feel pretty defeated today. Damn near failed a test. Sigh. I maintain that the test was bullshit, but that doesn't matter.

Even though I've slept quite a bit in the past day or so, I am still so very tired.

I think the only wireless device I would ever tolerate would be headphones. I don't know if they even exist yet, but they should.

They died very far away

2010-02-12T02:31:00.002-06:00

But somehow the blood is on our hands.

Well, it happened again. I guess it's my fault again. I've got very mixed feelings. Should I run with it? Only a very small part of me thinks I should. I had plans.

But if I walk away, will I ever see a chance like this again? Do I even have the luxury of wondering?

If I told her I could love her, I wonder if she'd even believe me.

Why can't life quiet down? Why can't it just come back later? I'm not ready for it. I don't want it now. I can't even really take it now. I just need a "back in a few years" sign that I can hang around my neck and then go to sleep.

Listen to my muscle memory

2010-01-28T09:46:00.003-06:00

Contemplate what I've been clinging to.

The other day, I walked across Tech campus and felt very content. Perhaps it was the right temperature, weather, time of day, but I felt like I was really back. Since so many things have changed since my first year here, it's difficult to get that feeling very often. It felt very nice; very encouraging.

They were chopped and slashed and beaten

2009-11-24T09:11:00.004-06:00

And left to die in many lonely places.

In my last post, I mentioned that "To sum up those last few paragraphs, and I suppose a theme of my blog over the past year and a half, I am slowly losing the ability to enjoy things...", which is not an accurate sentence. I should elaborate to say that this was the problem I realized about a year and a half ago, and have been working to remedy it ever since; I've had mixed degrees of success, but mostly positive. I am not there yet, though, and this Fall has been particularly exhausting because I can not relax after training as I initially planned. That is what I was attempting to "sum up", however ineffectively.

Now, it may sound like melodrama, but I assure you I've spent years believing just that. I've wasted many, many days of my life just "getting over it", and I have discovered that it isn't that simple.

Inspect this spirit carefully

2009-10-28T13:55:00.004-05:00

For this is how you died.

There is a girl in my life now. I find her endearing. I'm enjoying the "just dating" phase we have going on. It's nice to be with a girl without signing away at least 6 months of your life. I am concerned she will grow more attached, eventually requesting more than just "dating", and I am unsure what I will say when that time comes. As lonely as I am, I just can't imagine being in a relationship again. Perhaps my complexes have come full circle.

I still have not really been able to get back into gaming, outside of LAN parties. I hold out hope that this is simply a factor of free time and not lack of interest. Gaming is really something I'd like to get back into. It defined a great deal of my childhood and teenage years. Time, though; time is the issue. Gaming takes a lot of time. If you don't have a lot of time, it's difficult to enjoy them, I think.

Writing is difficult for me. It is one more thing in a list of hobbies I used to be able to participate in so easily that now seem so distant; as per the previous paragraph, gaming has become one of these. Writing has never been something that I've calculated--there's no "ON/OFF" switch. I write because my mind begins to weave these short narratives, and when I am lucky enough to simultaneously be at a computer terminal I can record them. The problem is when my mind still has a host of creative ideas that I would love to see manifested but it is too scattered to do the "weaving". It seems this is a factor of general fatigue. Between the months of my military training, previous stresses, current stresses, and lack of sleep, I don't feel there's any real place for my mind to collect itself.

In order to remedy this, of course one would suggest sleep. The problem with that is I have a full time job. So, if I sleep enough to catch up, then I will do nothing but sleep and work. There will be no time for hobbies anyway. Just as well, I have slept for upwards of twelve hours on two occasions in the past few weeks, and it hasn't really done much for me. I go to sleep almost immediately after getting off of work, sleep until I have to go to work again, and am still tired when I awake. Either it will take numerous consecutive intervals of this pattern of sleep to collect myself, or it is not the problem itself but merely a symptom. If it is only a symptom and the problem is deeper, than I will at that point begin to officially worry about my psychological health. It would mean that my anxieties are not lessening, and I would know not what causes them--particularly what causes them to worsen.

To sum up those last few paragraphs, and I suppose a theme of my blog over the past year and a half, I am slowly losing the ability to enjoy things, or have things that genuinely matter to me. But, let me not get ahead of myself. First things first: let me test out methods of resting my mind, not only with sleep but with leisure time. Although I recognize that I have had inconsistent success with these measures, I am confident they can prevail. The difficulty is that I am at a point in my life where down-time is not something I can afford to take. I am building the academic and financial foundations for my future--there can be no brakes or slip-ups or sleep-ins. The less I do now, the less (exponentially) I will have later. I guess the idea is that I was supposed to have been on downtime all throughout my youth, when instead I banked on some perceived infinite mental and physical vitality, pressing myself forward when I was in much need of rest.

In addition, I cannot discount my own preparations for these next few years. I have built a system for myself that, barring my current position and the position of the past 9 months, will allow me to relax on a large level. It was supposed to begin this semester, which is perhaps why I find it's absence so straining. In any case, it will be here on the coming semester, and I can sink into myself and all my old hobbies with great lack of restraint.

Love never calls me when I'm down

2009-10-13T09:56:00.002-05:00

Love never wanted me.

I've been far less productive so far than I had hoped.. imagined.. anticipated. I've gotten a job, which I guess is progress, but not in the direction I wanted. By now, a little after a month since I've returned, I expected to have the following checklist completed:

Thrown at least ONE LAN party.
Celebrated my 21st birthday with my family and (separately) with my friends.
Completely cleaned and rearranged my room.
Build a gaming computer.
Achieve various IT certifications.
Get a job of some kind.
Start/join a regular D&D group.
Continue watching anime.
Get back into video gaming in a big way.

I'll keep at it. It's taking me longer than it should have.

Thoughts that fell out of my head

2009-08-22T23:21:00.006-05:00

And into my campaign setting

The Elves, though a wise and powerful race, were long-lived and bred slowly so that by the end of the Sundering they were nearly extinct. Even now, centuries later, their populations are diminutive in comparison to those of the Humans or other races, and the Elves rely on their ancient pact with the Gnomes to keep them safe.

----------------

Minotaurs possess and unrivaled passion for architecture. They have constructed massive underground labyrinths in Senjaar, so large that some are said to span multiple shard planes. Other nations hostile to minotaurs actually fear the possible presence of mazes buried deep beneath their own cities.

----------------

The Ilbasi lizardmen were renowned for their cruelty and warlike nature. They served the ancient Green Dragon empire, and disappeared suddenly when the empire fell during the latter stages of the Sundering. The odd traveler might tell a tale of meeting a lizardman during his journeys, but as far as most are concerned, the Ilbasi are (thankfully) gone.

Occasionally, rarely, he would stop in to see how I was progressing

2009-06-22T19:43:00.004-05:00

He always was eerily curious of how I spent my fortunes.

I've had less to report than I anticipated, or perhaps less oppurtunities to report it. I'm many more weeks in than I was during my last (meaty) post, the one not about clay and the men made from it.

I purchased an Xbox 360 from someone else in the barracks a few weeks into my stay here. So far, I will say that I have enjoyed it. It has been a terribly strange feeling stepping back into the waters of console gaming, considering the last serious attempt I made to travel there was my attempted finishing of Twilight Princess, which didn't go through. The magic was, somehow gone. It has returned, even if this isn't the ideal place for it. Our free time is much too random for me to get everything set up and actually play. When I do, however, I don't regret it.

It is apparently the system for RPGs, so even though I don't yet own any I made the right choice. I'll have to pick some up at some point. I bought some for my DSi, another barracks-market purchase, and have only half regretted it. That is to say that I bought two games and am only enjoying one. Hopefully the second will prove more interesting than it seems.

It's a strange feeling, gaming again. I had a falling out with electronic gaming a few years back, when my gaming rig started dying. It began with RAM problem, grew to an HDD failure, and eventually resulted in the entire system being scrapped. With no money to replace it, I had to turn to a much weaker system where Warcraft III and Day of Defeat: Source were my only real options. I had to resort to that IBM roughly a year and a half ago, and in that time I missed out on a lot of games. I should be fair, though, it wasn't just PC games I was missing. When I first moved out of the house, or even when I first began attending college, money immediately became scarce. It was already scarce, of course, but then more than ever. With new games at $60 and new systems at ~$400, gaming was just not something I could afford to be a part of. Then my PC died and took with it my one connection to that world. The IBM was a trooper, but it was an artifact from (comparatively) epochs ago.

In that time, I just lost touch with my geek self. I wasn't playing video games nearly as much as I had during pretty much every other time in my life. And honestly, it was having a really draining impact on me. I no longer had a hobby that felt like home. I was a wandering nerd, if you will.

I chose to begin fixing all that around the beginning of last summer. I started playing games, hosting LAN parties, running D&D sessions. That Fall, I began watching anime again, much to my satisfaction. In November, I attended my first anime convention, cosplayed, and had a great time. There were more LAN parties and nerdery, but any momentum I had gained in "finding myself" was pretty much stopped by Basic Training. That helped me in its own way, though, and here I find myself with the resources and the assertiveness to continue to find my way back to where I am. While seemingly tangential, this rant was related to my getting back into video games.

You see, video gaming was the only real avenue of geekery I hadn't had a chance to really get back into. This is primarily because I didn't have the money. If you've got a good enough PC, you can always get cracked games; if you're desparate, there are always options. Not so with a console. The closest you can get is having a friend who owns one, but all my friends were as poor as I was. Here now, though, I have that 360 and the money to support it (I've spent a lot more than I thought I would, but that's another post entirely). So I can game in a way I haven't in, literally, years. I can start reading gaming magazines, geniunely concerned and interested in upcoming titles. I can peruse bargain bins for quirky games to try, or skim the title racks for big games in the past few years that I missed. I can now be sincerely active in the gaming community once again. But it's a world I haven't belonged to in a long time, and it shows.

While I now have the fiscal capacity to be interested in games, I found it almost difficult to be. When I sit down and play a game, I find myself comparing it (unfairly) to my hopped-up, fantastical memories of the games of yore; a contest it will surely lose. I also find it sort of hard to just sit and play a game for hours, as I used to. I can manage perhaps an hour before I have to start forcing myself to play. These games have become a chore to play, or some task I must do because that is just the nature of things. I'm not playing them to enjoy them, I should say. Gaming is, arguably, an aquired taste, and I have lost it.

I don't feel too worried. I feel like some ancient golem, coming back to life after centuries of dormancy. It takes a bit of effort to free myself from the overgrown hillside. It's an odd feeling.

The Clay Man

2009-06-07T18:11:00.000-05:00

He is quite alone

The clay man with no face
cannot sing, nor smile, nor cry;
Formed for a specific purpose,
he can only be and then not be.
His task completed,
he shatters,
crumbles to dust,
and blows off in the wind.
None will ever know of the clay man.

I know this hurts

2009-05-26T20:59:00.005-05:00

It was meant to

I've got a lot I could put here. I'm currently 17 weeks into my military training. I've graduated Basic Combat Training (BCT), and am in Advanced Individual Training (AIT). A lot has happened. Some components of me have changed profoundly, some parts of me are the same as the day I shipped out. It's hard to say while I'm in training how I've changed, though; I won't fully know that until I am finished here.

17 weeks of introspection should be poured into this entry, but they won't. Primarily because that is a lot of thoughts to capture and encase in a single, (ideally) coherent post. I will save that blog, the one where all of my thoughts on these 8 months, for around mid-September. I'd like instead to spend these intermittent posts capturing some of the memories of these months.

This one will cover my Memorial Day weekend trip to Charleston, South Carolina. As much as I can put together at the moment, anyway.

Saturday morning, I was released around 0830. I did some laundry and hung out with Patino for a little bit. Not too long, however. He left with some of his friends to go out into town (it was his first weekend as a Phase V). I finished the laundry up and then packed. Around the time I was finished (1600), mom had arrived. It was the first time I had seen her since she dropped me off at ATU for all this business. It was nice.

She had been given a gold '09 Mustang as a rental car. She signed me out, a process that included 66 push-ups induced by a misplaced foot on the "B". We left base and hit a Panera Bread shop, where we planned our next move and exchanged some writings. We left out, and it was about a 3 hour drive to our Saturday night hotel just north of Charleston. We hit a local restaurant that had surprisingly good food. We sat and talked for a bit, then left back to the hotel. I stayed up on the internet 'til around midnight, then went to sleep. We were up around 0830 the next morning, and got ready to head out for the day. We ate the hotel breakfast and left around 1000.

We arrived in Charleston a little while later, checked in the luggage and just started walking around. It was a neat city. We rode on a carriage tour, walked through some marketplaces, and hit up a local bakery place. When we had finished, it was around time to check into the next hotel (1500). After that, we left for the beach. It was the first time I've seen the ocean.

I'll keep this as masculine as possible, but the experience was really something else. It was priceless to be running along the water barefoot. Jumping into the waves was the most genuine fun I've had in a long time. It was very refreshing. I'd love to go again.

After the beach, me and mom went out to a nice seafood dinner at a local crab shack. I ordered my first legal alcoholic drink. After that, we hit the hotel and crashed. The following morning we packed and headed out for some breakfast. We ate a small cafe and were served by a very cute girl (wearing a Star Wars t-shirt, of all things). We checked out of the hotel around 1100 on Monday morning. We walked around the ocean side for a while longer, took some pictures, then headed out for reals.

We arrived back in Augusta around 1500. We hit a Target and then mom dropped me back off at Fort Gordon. We said final goodbyes (likely until Fourth of July), and then she left. And thus was my mini-vacation to Charleston, SC.

I'll no doubt have more to report shortly.

I mastered insanity before you even learned the word

2008-12-13T00:31:00.003-06:00

What are you to madness?

The nurse placed the silver tray on a table next to me. On it sat a series of pills, all of different colors except for two near the end that were both a translucent red. Those were for my "illness", the real reason I was here; the man in the white coat assured me those would keep the demons at bay.

In the 324 days and 16 hours I'd been here, he had yet to be right.

This day, the 325th day of my stay here, they returned to me again for the 325th time. I was horrified to see, though, that the demons today would not come to me in a dream. No, they saw fit to haunt me in person. This would be my last day in the asylum on the corner of 5th and Brandy, alive.

I remember that day

2008-11-13T21:27:00.006-06:00

It was the year 434, almost a decade after the siege at Arkette.

Arkette. This is Hell frozen over.

The man thought to himself as he surveyed the abandoned throne hall. Winds blew snow into the building, and he watched as it piled up into small drifts in the corners of the room. His vision panned over, through one of the fallen walls and out into the courtyard. Arrows still littered the ground, their broken shafts poking up through the snow.

Soon, the snow would turn red. They say it was for all the blood shed there. This man knew better; the snow was red long ago, even during the siege.

Does it ever stop snowing here?

You left a hole where my heart should be

2008-11-05T10:09:00.004-06:00

Only with pain is sorrow made complete

"Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity." I'd say that bombing for peace is more like fucking for pregnancy; she won't always get pregnant, but when she does she'll be that way for a while.

Obama got voted for president, and I'm intrigued. I didn't vote for him, but I don't mind. I didn't really know much about the two big candidates (I didn't vote for either of them). For pretty much my entire grown life, as long as I've really known or cared that politics existed, Bush has been president. So, it's going to be neat to see how someone else runs things; particularly, someone from the other party.

There are always spikes

2008-11-03T19:28:00.002-06:00

Why are there always spikes?

I'm sort of tired of all this "a woman's worth" stuff. Not at all because I don't think women have value, or at least equal opportunity to value as males, but because it's so one-sided. Are guys not valuable? Do you think guys are just born with confidence, and never need to be told that we're worth something? It's like everyone just thinks that because women have this whole "skinny model" enemy complex going on they're the only ones with self-worth issues. We've got good guys sitting around (On a quick side-not, I'm not going to puff them up--good guys are boring, read here to find out why), and all women can do is just ignore them. How do you think that makes them feel? They may be boring, but they're far from the jackass you're probably dating. So, after reading that "women have real value" blog post that made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, why don't you turn around and write one about why guys have value in your life? And if they don't, why not? Is it because guys really are all worthless, or because you just aren't thinking hard enough for their side? If it's the former, then we really don't have much use for you, either. If it's the latter, we definitely don't have much use for you.

I guess this is why women always seemed like they just took and took in my relationships. They've got this idea, through our culture, that it's all about them. We've snapped back and over-corrected since the feminist movement, and now guys are the target of some pretty serious and undeserved pessimism.

Sigh. There's a bit of spite in that, but there's not too much and it's sort of all over the place so I really couldn't extract it without re-writing the whole bloody thing which I don't feel like doing. So, if you are a female, please know the spite just comes from this idea that women love it when they get special treatment but cry about equality as an excuse to deny any to males. Males are valuable too, and I can almost guarantee you that most personality and character distortions found in males are derived from a lack of self-worth. If you would do well to remind them they have a place besides fucking anything with a vagina, they'll grow into that.

But, enough of that. I've been doing some more thinking on my Pokemon RPG system, and there are some more problems that need addressing. Namely, you as a player will be role-playing as a pokemon trainer, so I need to design how that's going to translate into the game. Do trainers need stats? Will trainers level up? If so, what bonuses will they get when they do so? Other questions arose, such as how many pokemon should be on the playing field at a time? The classic battle is a one-on-one competition, but that doesn't make sense all the time. In the series, for example, a single trainer may send out two to three or even more pokemon.

These are some issues I'm currently working on, as well the HP system. Hopefully I'll have some breakthroughs soon!

I don't want it

2008-10-24T23:02:00.003-05:00

I just need it.

I've not posted in some time, and for that I extend consolation. Or apologies. It is most likely that neither of those are necessary, but because I feel somehow obligated to write here at least once every few days I feel obligated to apologize when I do not.

I've been doing a lot of thinking on the new D&D system, specifically with feats. I've decided to go with a three-layered feat/talent mechanic. It involves class-specific talents, archetype-specific talents, and then general feats. General feats include proficiencies, skill bonuses, that sort of thing. The kind of bonuses any class has rational claim to. Next up are archetype-specific talents. These are only accessible by their given archetype (of which there are currently: Warrior, Rogue, Priest, Druid, and Arcanist). Past that, you have your class talents, which can only be taken by the given class.

The reason I decided to include both Feats and Talents is that I wanted more customization and role-definition. I wanted to give players more power to make their character unique mechanically. I also felt that class- and archetype- specific talents would allow me to much better flesh out the distinctions in classes that share a given archetype. For example, this mechanic allows me as a designer to include content that expands upon class features such as a Berzerker's rage versus a Martialist's training, or a Wizard's knowledge of spells versus a Sorcerer's innate arcane power. My initial plan was to only have Feats, but divide them into groups based on nature; Martial, Arcane, etc. This created a lot of issues when it came to neutral feats, such as Dodge or Skill Focus. These feats don't really lend themselves to any particular class or type. By creating these three levels of specification, I can logically organize both class-oriented feats (such as Cleave, or Expanded Spellbook) and still give players access to the neutral feat trees.

As far as the Skill system is concerned, I may switch the bonuses provided by training and "class" designation. Originally, a character would have a bonus equal to half their level to standard skill checks, and a bonus equal to their whole level for class skills. Then, of course, they would get the constant bonus from training. Ultimately, though, this system had some issues; namely, at level 20 a character would get far more bonus from his level than from his training, which makes no sense. Being an experienced adventurer helps, but it's not going to do you as much good as actually knowing what you're doing; experience just helps you guess better. By switching these bonuses, though, we can eliminate that lapse in rationale. The character would then get a flat-line bonus for having it as a class skill, then receive a full-level bonus to the skill if they had been trained in it. This only has one problem: at early levels, a constant bonus of +5ish would be awesome, vastly increasing your skill power, but at high levels +5ish would just be sort of "meh"-ish. This can be fixed, though, by including a level-based tier system (like that of D&D 4th Edition), where the "constant" bonus increases as a character tiers-up.

I've also been doing a lot of work on the Pokemon RPG system I want to make. My main problem boiled down to Pokemon stat defition. In the games, a pokemon has five primary attributes: Attack, Defense, Special Attack, Special Defense, and Speed. This works fine in the game, because attacks and moves are all long equations calculated on demand by a CPU. In the pen and paper world, this sort of math can get very tedious, and it's hard to include in dice rolls. That's where the modifier system comes in, but even then the stats don't transfer well. I thought that perhaps I could go with a similar 5-point attribute set: Attack, Fortitude Defense, Reflex Defense, Will Defense, and Initiative. The problem here is trying to define how these attributes increase as a pokemon levels. In the games, when a pokemon levels it gains a set bonus to each of its five attributes, usually ranging from +0 to +3. At higher levels, it's not uncommon at all for a pokemon to have an attribute (such as attack) in the hundreds. If we applied a modifier system here, it would still get annoying as players attempted to calculate the modifier for a stat of 183. Plus, as the numbers increase, the random variation a d20 provides means less and less; in a formula such as 1d20 + 123, the d20 doesn't really mean anything at all.

I decided to fix this much in the same way other RPGs do: have these statistics (Attack, Defense(s), Initiative) based on a series of core attributes. That way, bonuses from leveling filter through a series of calculations to have meaningful impact on stats. The primary problem here was determining this core attribute set. You've got your classic 6-point: Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. This is a pretty solid system, but a bit too complex when a player is trying to manage 6+ pokemon. You've got modified sets, such as the WoW 5-point: Strength, Dexterity, Intelligence, Stamina, and Spirit. This is still more than the players need to be worried about, though. I eventually settled on a simple, 3-point set (Warcraft III style!): Strength, Intelligence, and Agility. It's easy enough to be manageable, but still covers all the necessary bases (especially given Defense types). From there, each pokemon could be given a primary attribute which modified Attack bonus in addition to providing bonuses to defenses. So, each pokemon will be defined by these three core attributes which can then easily and clearly translate into the five combat statistics.

Another problem I faced with the Pokemon RPG was the skill system. Because these pokemon no longer exist in a pre-determined, calculated environment, battles can't be limited to slug fests. A trainer might want their pikachu to run along a wall, or their pidgey to fly through a series of small holes to outrun a larger foe. The results of these could be purely narrated, but that removes the fun of dice rolling. And, these conflicts can't be resolved with the combat statistics discussed earlier. Skills had to be brought into the equation, I just wasn't sure where to put them. I had a few options: I could give each pokemon a pre-determined skill list. This would give each pokemon variation in what skills they knew, but kept two like pokemon from being different. Another option was to assign skill "lists" that each pokemon could learn skills from, much like class skills. Then, when a pokemon was instantiated by the GM they could just pick a handful of skills that particular pokemon had. I liked it. Still, it was getting to be a few more numbers than I think most players would want to put up with. About this time I was also considering how feats were going to factor into all this, figuring at first they'd be associated with the trainer. Eventually, I decided to hand off feats to pokemon and give the trainer talent trees. The problem of keeping this little bundles of statistics manageable again came onto the front page. I decided to give each Pokemon one Skill slot and one Feat slot to solve the issue. This would give trainers the ability to enhance their pokemon's capacity in a given area without just getting lost in a plethora of choices.

Bloody hell, that was long. I'll have more on all this later, I've got to go get free ice cream. Seeking free food is among the noblest of endeavors.

Gos homes and takes a showers

2008-10-20T22:55:00.004-05:00

To wash off the shames of your bad guitars playings.

I've recently started playing the demo for Spectromancer, and I enjoy it. I recommend checking it out. I wonder if I should get into an indie game sort of thing. Mainstream gaming just isn't my slice of cake nowadays.

And, heavens, this game gets sort of difficult later on. Not only because the enemy A.I. is powerful, but also because they're just sort of given these really powerful cards.

These people are asking for regulation

2008-10-08T19:44:00.002-05:00

Okay?

My IBM teacher pronounces "error" as "era". It's kind of very annoying.

I can't draw, so designing a website is sort of tough. I can code whatever I would need to, but it's not like I even know where to begin.

Home, where I wanted to go

2008-10-01T21:15:00.002-05:00

And nothing else compares.

Man. I'm in one of those moods where I feel like I just can't do anything right. Time to go crawl in that hole I dug.

It is Sinistine, Bow of the Black Maiden

2008-09-30T22:32:00.003-05:00

"This bow shoots witches instead of arrows."

I think it is sort of interesting how civilization didn't really grow up in North America the same way it did in China and Mesopotamia, despite being a rich agricultural center.

And I've concluded there still exists before me a myriad of social situations which can, and will, paralyze my mind. They will reduce me to little more than a timid, defeated animal. My basic instincts will come forth, and I will flee. I kid you not, I actually ran.

If I only I could get a re-do on today. Maybe find some way to ctrl-z that shit.

I'm just a man

2008-09-29T14:34:00.006-05:00

I'm not a hero.

Drill this weekend was a lot easier than usual. We didn't have as much physical training as normal. We ate MREs for two of our meals, and I must say they are quite good.

I played a little bit of Warhammer 40k tabletop last night, and it was pretty fun. I know I would've enjoyed it a lot more if A) the turns could go faster, and B) I had known more of the rules. Still, it made for some good times.

I was also introduced to an intriguing scenario a few weeks ago. It's coming along... intriguingly.

"Are Christians hypocritical?" Uh, yes? I can't stand people who try to sound like they've made some philosophical breakthrough by asking some stupid question with an obvious answer.

The Monolith!

2008-09-26T12:16:00.000-05:00

We destroy that, and this is over! Charge!

I hate it when old people say, with that characteristic hint of condescension, that "believe it or not" computers haven't always been around and that "back in their day" they didn't have cell phones and the internet.

Well, shucks. I understand that back in the Jurassic era when these archaic humanoids were hewn from stone by ancient gods that this sort of technology didn't exist. To be fair, a lot of it didn't exist when I was a kid, either.

You can't have that isolation

2008-09-23T21:07:00.001-05:00

You can't have the hate that it brings

Drinking bleach is fun. For you. And your family. ...

And now a word from our sponsor.

"Drink bleach! It'll probably kill you."

In you and I, there's a new land

2008-09-21T21:39:00.003-05:00

Where fears and lies melt away.

I played some Dawn of War: Dark Crusade today for the first time in a while. I remember now why it was so broken. Thank the fates I had a Necron player on my team, or else I'd never have been able to throw back that single Krootox that Tau threw at me.

I survive on luck and sympathy

2008-09-21T02:40:00.009-05:00

Where is the lesson in that?

Age 0, or "prehistory" as referenced by a historian, is characterized primarily by what is known as "The Sundering": a series of long, brutal wars. There is a lot more history there, but the records of what transpired have been largely destroyed, or moved to other planes and outside of the access of Terran sentients. Objectively, the age is the largest, composed of what many would say are ages in and of themselves. These "sub-ages", such as creationary myths and the like, are all heaped into "Age 0" because no one really knows much about them, so it's difficult to say what belongs where. The best scholars can do is say that "Age 0" is the time before recorded time; things that happened before the educated class of the First Age began to rise up from the ashes of the Sundering as the various species finally began to settle and rebuild their civilizations.

The First Age began with the establishment of the nation of Ayrehilm. During this age, the world is dark and mysterious. Ruins dot the landscape. Ancient libraries contain lore of gods long forgotten. Great legends and epic tales of the Sundering are commonplace. Magic is slowly being rediscovered. Civilizations are being reborn. It is a time for heroes to step forward and reclaim the world that was violently torn from them. This is the age of adventures.

The Second Age is a time of death. Almost a millennium after the founding of the nation of Ayrehilm, a great plague spreads across the land in the form of a strange mist. Whom the mist does not kill it warps beyond recognition. Many are born with strange defects during this age, the most common being the inability to speak, but blindness is not uncommon. Most have fled to the largest cities, where powerful priesthoods and shamans wage an unending struggle against the mist, and the twisted monsters that dwell within it. The mist hinders the sun's light, blacking out the world for much of the day. The world is dying, and the nations along with it.

The Third Age began almost as suddenly as the Second Age ended. With the casting of the ritual that banished the mist, the planes are thrown out of alignment. The cosmic balance that had kept the elementals from warring has been lost. Unfortunately for those who dwell on Terra, this war is spilling over into the material plane in a terrible way. Large mountains suddenly awaken into stone monoliths, swiping at what seems to be nothing; they war with the Air. Large fire elementals break free from the planet's core with such heat even the seas who rise against them can barely hold them at bay. The mortals of the world have been caught up in this war; no longer are they separated by race, but by elemental alignment. The bloods of ancient lineages have fused with the various elementals as clans and species ally with these primordials. Magic has ceased--primitive metal and steam technologies have taken its place. The world has taken technological steps forward and divided itself into tribes. This is a world constantly at war, the very manifestation of elemental chaos.

I wonder if I am getting any better at social interaction? I seem to be progressing in a positive way. I'm finally begin to internalize social aspects that before I could only simulate.

Why buy one

2008-09-19T10:31:00.003-05:00

When you can buy two for twice the price?

I really need to come up with a strategy for exceeding in school. I can understand concepts alright (as most can), but I have trouble carrying that over into the technical realm.

Come and whisper in my ear

2008-09-17T13:29:00.003-05:00

The tales of nations long since fallen.

I'm not entirely sure what everyone has against the new Facebook. It's not any harder to navigate. Everything is labeled. In, you know, english. The whole site, particularly the Profile page, has been streamlined to maximize data output and minimize clutter. You just can't bitch about that sort of thing, unless it is somehow your job to make people who want to use the internet suffer.

Recently, I've begun to divide up the history of my campaign setting into Ages in order to make it easier to both digest and campaign in.

They don't call them

2008-09-16T23:35:00.003-05:00

They're not really sure what to call them by

I didn't post yesterday, but I am today so hopefully I won't get out of the habit. I finished, "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" Season One today. It was an alright series. Not quite worth the cult following I'd say, but not too bad. I enjoyed the fourteen episodes that were provided to me.

I was thinking the other day of different ways we could come in contact with alien species whose technology would be capable of reaching our planet, but not altogether ahead of our own. Perhaps, for instance, their planet was home to more energy; after all, one of the primary reasons we're not all about space travel is the vast amount of fuel it takes to leave the atmosphere. With small scale and affordable energy, even small businesses or even private individuals could ponder the prospect of venturing into space. Perhaps a species native to their planet, or they themselves, are naturally capable of such a feat. It is also possible that their lifespans are longer than ours or that they have a much lower birth rate; given that culture, wars and killing would be much more damaging because it would take that much longer for them to regain their numbers. In that light, technological advancement regarding war and weaponry wasn't forefront in their progression.

There are other ways, I'm sure. Those were just the ones going through my head as I walked today.

I'm not gonna go to the fucking zoo

2008-09-14T19:51:00.006-05:00

What are you, gay?

I wish I had a spaceship. Also, a hot, naked chick who'd pilot it for me.

I've always felt that maturity is a product of knowledge. It's directly affected by how much you know. And not just textbook knowledge, but how much you know about yourself, other people, the world you live in, and how all of these things come together to form the system you wake up to everyday.

It's no lie

2008-09-13T21:14:00.002-05:00

We're caramel dancin'.

I finished Azumanga Daioh today, and can then say conclusively that I enjoyed the entire series. The last episode made me feel nostalgic about my high school days. It's nice to reminisce.

So, onwards to my next anime. I'm not really sure what it'll end up being. I should ask around... Also, I've been doing pretty well posting at least something here once a day. Neat!

They were the ones who fell

2008-09-12T10:14:00.005-05:00

They walked the fine line towards madness.

I didn't sleep much last night, and I sort of made up for that with a quick nap during my economics class.

The point I referred to earlier, regarding "things looking up", was how shifty I view life. I go through a lot of "ups" and "downs", and not necessarily because my life does, but because the way I look at it changes. Of course, this is a common problem with humans, and I'm not attempting to introduce it as though it were unique to my character. I am merely commenting on my realization of its presence in my life and the degree to which it affects me.

I don't feel crazy. I mean,... Well. Let me re-phrase that. I do a lot of weird things. I'm an eccentric person. By definition, I am at least "crazy" in the meaning that I don't do things in a way that makes sense to most people. Not because I'm some awesome genius or anything--I'm not trying to toot my own unique-ness horn--just because I'm different, and weird, and it makes me look crazy.

I don't see or hear things that aren't there. I do, however, feel like I have varying degrees of stability. Enough so that I will go from feeling hopeless to elated in the space of a few hours. When I go between these states, I always look back and think on how dumb I was for feeling the way before. That's how weird this is to me: I can't justify or rationalize why I feel those ways, so when I look back on them I just feel stupid for being that way.

I've done some research, and it almost sounds like Cyclothymia. So, when I say "things are looking up", what I'm trying to say is that I'm feeling pretty good with the world. The world is pretty much the same as it has been for me.

I'm don't use this problem as an excuse; when it hits me, I just run with it. I guess you could say I've learned to roll with the blows. It's just straining. What I'm trying to do to counteract this disorder is increase productivity while maintaining some semblance of personal sanctuary. In essence, make my life into something that is hard to be depressed about, and when the depression does hit, have a hidey-hole I can crawl into for a little bit until I feel better.

I wonder "where the hood at"

2008-09-11T23:13:00.002-05:00

I need to go teach English there.

Summer is mostly over, which means it will only get colder from here. Most excellent.

I've recently been glued to Azumanga Daioh, which is good stuff if you like things that are cute and funny. If not, you might want to check out the vinegar concentration in your bloodstream.

The internet is not a big truck

2008-09-10T12:15:00.003-05:00

The internet is you and me

Lately, I've been trying to step up on my nerd factor. It's been pretty fulfilling. I've been watching more anime, paying more attention to academics, playing more video games, playing more pen'n'paper RPGs, trying to get into Warhammer 40k tabletop, and I'm even trying to get a cosplay group together for an anime convention this fall.

Things are looking up, which is an interesting implication that I will probably discuss later. I've already go the post in my head!

I feel the Warp overtaking me

2008-09-09T18:22:00.002-05:00

Do you hear the voices, too?!

This song might swallow your soul. It is a good pain, though.

I once thought

2008-09-08T00:41:00.001-05:00

Not much came of it, though.

I haven't posted here in a good long time, so I apologize to you, the hypothetical reader. I haven't had direct access to internet in quite a while, and during that time this place grew stagnant. I am back, however, and my return shall mean the revival of these thoughts, and the collections thereof.

I orchestrated this slaughter

2008-08-14T16:38:00.004-05:00

Be it glory or blame, it will fall to my name

I always liked Box.net, but they charged for their hosting services years ago when I was looking around. I went to MediaMax instead. I got the Facebook Box.net application, and I like it. At that point, they had begun offering free online file hosting, but all my files and links already pointed to the MediaMax account. Well, this past April MediaMax fell under, was bought out, or just changed out to The LinkUp. So, I lost all my replay files. Well, I decided to just suck it up and get a free LinkUP account and start putting replays back on the site. When I got the page though, I was greeted with this:

"Unfortunately The Linkup service is no longer available. Please visit box.net for your storage needs."

Only now, Box.net has only pay-plans. Haha! Honestly, I'd love to see a Google hosting service; I've already got some 6 gigs of free space in my e-mail inbox. They have a site-builder in their GoogleLabs section, but it won't process anything past CSS (it might not even have that one), so all my PHP would be worthless. I could host files there, but I think the limit is like, 100mb, and I'd have to switch them all over after I ran out of space.

Anyway, I'm not sure where to go for my free hosting nowadays.

Listen to my muscle memory

2008-08-05T11:32:00.003-05:00

Contemplate what I've been clinging to

I'm tired of seeing "Burning Crusade" listed as someone's favorite game, especially in gaming magazines. I'm going to be frank about World of Warcraft: It has done irreparable damage to the MMO community and to the Warcraft storyline. It had some good sides: solid programming, impressive graphics engine, an intuitive and streamlined interface. Those factors just aren't enough to redeem the game, however; since it's creation, it has shamelessly paraded one of the most shallow worlds video gaming has seen in a while.

I suppose the primary reason it's so attractive is a combination of the programming, graphics, and interface make picking up and playing the game simple enough for even non-traditional gamers. I just can't stand what they've done to the Warcraft universe and, by proxy, what gamers and developers look for in MMOs.

He lost that battle before it even began

2008-07-29T22:53:00.001-05:00

He was lost to heroism.

I beat Mass Effect the other day, and although the final scenes were cool, the ending was pretty lame.

Even they stand alone

2008-07-26T13:39:00.004-05:00

Warped beyond recognition.

There are a lot of songs out there that I like, but I guess I'm really embarrassed about it. The songs are catchy, but are otherwise really bad. Of course, there are songs I listen to that are good, but still represent a stigma because their nature is quite feminine.

Also, it's getting sort of tough to come up with cool two-liners to go into the tops of these posts. I've been doing it for a few years now, though, so it's not as if I can stop.

I guess to sum up my thoughts on Sins of a Solar Empire, I think the game took on a bold concept as a game and did well; even still, I know the game has room for a lot of depth in almost every facet.

They killed our people with bombs, destroyed our planets with fire

2008-07-22T20:19:00.002-05:00

And none would forget the sins of a solar empire.

I haven't had internet for quite some time, so of course I haven't been posting here. Not too much to discuss on the personal front, however. I'll be moving down to Russellville on the 31st, to the apartment at first and possibly to Josh's at some later date.

I just finished up a series of online Warcraft III matches, and I must say I've gotten quite rusty. I haven't really played online very much since my gaming rig died this past January, and even less since David began devoting large portions of his schedule elsewhere. I've played a few offline, but Battle.net is a completely different ballpark.

So I had the opportunity to try out an RTS I'd been eagerly eying for a while now, and while I did enjoy playing, I can't help but feel there are several areas where the game would have benefited from a bit more depth. Essentially, the game is acting as a port of large-scale space TBSs into the RTS system. It doesn't do a bad job, other than I feel the developers heavily simplified the game in order to make it more manageable in a real-time setting. After playing through several matches, however, I don't feel that it was necessary. You stay very busy for the first hour or so of the game, carefully juggling research, colonization, and military construction to effectively rise as a dominant power. After that first hour, however, everyone has expanded to each other's borders and the game boils down to a cold war.

This slowdown is a product of several elements of the game being diluted down for the sake of real-time simplicity. Almost every aspect of the game lacks the depth to make a game longer than one hour feel like anything more than a chore.

Combat - Could have reflected something similar to Star Wars: Empire at War
Ships - Could have had upgrade options, such as adding new weapons or switching out old ones. Even a custom ship design system could have been implemented, based off of researches.
Researches - Could have had more research trees pretty much all across the board.
Planet Colonization - No area of space should be "uncolonizable" with research. Gas giants can be colonized with floating cities. Even just plain space can be colonized (Space stations, anyone?)
Planet Development - There really shouldn't be a cap on just how developed a colony can become. That's sort of the point of technology.
Planet Descriptions - Planets should be defined by more than just "Asteroids vs. Ice Planets". A class system (I - V) would suffice to describe three relevant aspects of a planet: Size, Hospitality, and Natural Resources.
Diplomacy - Missions are annoying, but ignoring them makes people hate you. That's dumb. Put in a proper alliance system where diplomacy is requested, agreed upon, and them betrayed or sustained.
Starfighters - ..need to play a much larger role.
Species - More plox? kthx.
Phasing - Hyperdrive engine researches should be available allowing your ships to travel more than just one bloody planet at a time.

With those tweaks in mind, the game is still relatively fun to play and is a good time-sink. Oh, if only I had my own game design team.

No time to delay

2008-07-03T18:09:00.001-05:00

We've only got four minutes .

I mowed the lawn today. It was pretty intense. In a really boring, suburbia kinda way.

I am the architect of a massive orbital cemetary

2008-06-29T21:15:00.002-05:00

Where bodies can never decay .

It is interesting to try and imagine why I remained with (or even converted to) Christian theology after my long period of introspection, when so many others turn away after theirs. Who realized less, more, or something different entirely?

The good you just forget

2008-06-28T22:49:00.008-05:00

Oh, which to bury?

I've made even more progress on the Skill system, but I have yet to map out who gets how many skills points, and when. I'm just not sure how I want to work with that mechanic yet. Really, it's a toss up with how many each class gets. I almost want to have every class get the same amount per level, and make them distinct with class skills. Now that I mention it, cross-class skills is another mechanic I haven't really touched. I'm not sure how to approach it. I think I might require players to take a Skill Training feat to allow access to a certain skill that's not class. That's kind of weird, though. It works in Saga because the skill is trained or not, and you don't get any skills past the first level, so you take the feat to train your character in the skill. The currency is fair: feats for skills; there's definitely a price, but it's not outrageous.

In my hypothetical solution, you have to burn a feat just to gain access to a skill, which would probably make players feel like they've been ripped off. Well, I could just word it like this:

Skill Training: Choose a skill. That skill is now treated as a class skill for your character.
Special: This feat can be taken multiple times. Each time, it applies to a different skill.

That's pretty concise and doesn't make you feel like you wasted a feat. I'm still sort of uneasy about it, though. It sounds like one of those deals where you pay to be able to pay more.

Currently, though, I'm going to try and start work on Feats. Step one, really, is to figure out what groups I want. Previous plans called for a special feat type for each class, namely: Martial, Divine, Stealth, and Arcane. Those sound pretty solid.

The first problem I encountered was that not all feats fit into one of those categories. That means I'll need some ambiguous fifth category where I dump all of those (such as Dodge, or Improved Initiative). The problem with this category is that there are still feats that don't belong there any more than the special feats do. If Cleave is going to have a special feat type, why is Spring Attack in the "General" pool? The second problem was that some feats could fit into two categories, or maybe go into one but are still useful to other classes. Metamagic feats are the primary culprit here.

Once I get Feats and Skills squared away, I'll have to step back up and see where I stand as regards project completion. I've pretty much got rough ideas for the whole thing, but as I'm really beginning to understand with the skills and feats, rough ideas are a long way from a solid, playable system.

Aw.

2008-06-27T17:21:00.007-05:00

Aw, yeah.

Apparently, it's correct to use "an" in front of a word that begins with an "H". I disagree, however, in most cases. For example, "an hard test". No, it was "a hard test". Why? Because the word "an" is used in place of "a" to create a consonant sound to separate the vowel sounds. You wouldn't say, "It was a edible cookie", because it's tough on the mouth and on the ears. You would say, "It was an edible cookie" so your mouth can easily transition into the "eh" sound in the next word. In the same way, you don't say "I wrote an history paper", because the "hi-" sound in the next word is consonantal. I did use "an" earlier before an "H" though (and also right there) because the letter H's pronunciation begins with a vowel sound, "Ay".

Hm! Although I never considered myself an active blogger on Xanga, I'm about halfway to gaining some sort of badge for activeness. How neat! Too bad I've already moved on, hm? I can still gain it for commenting enough, though, and I do read around several Xangas. Maybe I can still achieve it?

You have lost yourself in an ideal

2008-06-26T20:53:00.005-05:00

It cannot be brought to terms with reality.

It doesn't sound like it to me, but everyone else tells me that I speak very loudly. Sometimes, I wonder about how many conversations I have had in public that I thought were just between us, but my booming vocals carried my words to others nearby. It's just sort of embarrassing, I guess.

For a while, I thought people telling me how to do something made me angry. Today at work, however, I realized that it didn't have to do with someone telling me how to do something; I don't know how to do everything, clearly, and that sort of mentality would be counter productive. I discovered that what really burns my ass is someone telling me something that I already know in a condescending way. You know the type--they're know-it-alls on crack. They go out of their way to explain to you a better way to solve your problems, not to help you, but to stroke their own ego. It's evident in the way they word their approach, the way they tone their advice. And it's really, really annoying. In fact, it is one of the few things that will just ruin my day.

We've got nothing to hide

2008-06-24T22:18:00.007-05:00

And even less to lose.

You know what's awkward? When you message someone online, and they don't say anything back at all and then log off. What does that even mean? I'd hope that if I was boring (something I don't deny), they'd just tell me. Otherwise, I'm just left wondering if I'm over-reacting? Is it so much to ask for at least a "ohai, im afk. lata!!1"? I don't even need proper spelling or punctuation! Just some means of communicating that you acknowledged my greeting but cannot (for whatever reason) carry on with the conversation.

I read in the D&D Fourth Edition rules about Rituals, and I found the mechanic a fascinating re-working of some of the more influential spells that are just too powerful to be cast even on a daily basis. It also opens these magics up to all classes, which makes them even cooler. I've already decided to incorporate the mechanic into my system, with various adaptations.

I'm still at a loss for how to define the progression of skills in my system. I don't want to have some obnoxious two-way crap like in Saga or 4e. I want skills to be progressive with discreet levels of advancement. I guess that's the spectrum: on one side, you have 3.5's continuous skill system versus 4e's diluted "you either know it or you don't" thing. I was thinking something along the lines of a few ranks, maybe four or five per skill; something like "Novice, Journeyman, Expert, Master". Each rank up increases your bonus to skill checks with that skill. I'm just not sure how to translate increases in class level to increases in skill level. I was actually tossing around a system I call "auto-level'ing", where you choose a series of skills at level one, and perhaps every four levels those skills automatically advance to the next rank, and you can pick a certain number of new skills to start on. The problem with this was that it doesn't accurately reflect character growth; sometimes, a character starts off super excited about longswords, but later on finds his true love in the halberd. If he stops using longswords at level 8, he's not going to be any better with them by the time he's level 12.

I suppose, in the end, I could just develop a rank per level system similar to 3.5. Players will receive so many ranks every so many levels to spend as they wish, and then place level requirements on each rank. I don't know, though... for some reason that just doesn't seem an adequate solution; I just can't put my finger on it.

In personal life news, I arrived back up in Fayetteville yesterday after a pleasant bus ride. I got back a day later than planned, but it didn't upset things as much as I had feared. Work today was a bit unfortunate: I ended up pissing off another worker, although really it was because she refused to communicate with me. She would just walk off whenever I tried to approach her on the subject and get things straightened out. As far as my love life, I've arrived at my classical rock'n'hard place: I've realized that seeking a mate is sort of a lost cause given my position, but I'm still alone and that wears on me day by day. At this point, I'm just concentrating on meeting more people; meeting more females is a plus, if for no other reason that getting more social experience with them. I've been really hooked on this song lately, and perhaps shamefully so. I've also been trying to play PSX RPGs again, but this computer is so old it has trouble running the emulator. I mean, seriously? The Playstation 1 had less processing power than most microwaves these days. I still spend way too much time accomplishing nothing on the internet though, so I'm not sure how much gaming I'll get done. I still haven't finished Twilight Princess, and I've got a lot of work ahead of me on Metroid Prime: Corruption. Even then, I've got a lot of work to do on my system.

Gimme just a second, I'll find something to say

2008-06-20T17:51:00.005-05:00

Had I just a minute, I'd have made the great escape.

I think I've figured out how to fix the skill problem I've been having lately. I can give fighters and rogues the same amount of skill points, then separate the two based on class skills. Now all I have to do is figure out how skills are going to rank up.

I've enjoyed the last few days down in Russellville. It's been nice to get to visit with all my friends down here again. Last summer I move down here, but the mass exodus doesn't occur until I decide to stay behind. I've been sleeping in Nevin's closet, which is funny. I always end up in the closet. I come out of it quite frequently.

Well, I'll get back here with a real post once I've actually finished the skill system, or at least made more progress.

I've dug up miles and miles of sand

2008-06-19T17:15:00.003-05:00

I've just got bruised and battered hands.

Just a quick update from down in Russellville. I hitched a ride down here with Hanh for drill on Saturday. I'm chillin' at French's apartment just kinda wasting time.

Amber had her kid yesterday, which is pretty cool. I won't see it again 'til Sunday night, which is good because it'll give them time to get settled in without me being in the way.

I've been thinking more on the proficiencies system being integrated into skills and I've sort of run aground on how I'm going to do cross class skills. I don't want this whole system to be too complicated, but I want it to be able to express a lot. Getting it there is going to take a lot of mathematical and conceptual finesse.

I just have one question

2008-06-16T00:40:00.005-05:00

Does this smell like chlorophorm to you?

The idea that broke my last post was to turn weapon proficiencies into skills instead of feats, and cutting out base attack bonus. I still like the idea very much, but I'm still not sure exactly how I'm going to implement it. Fighters need to have the most proficiencies, because knowing weapons is sort of their thing. If I turn proficiency into a series of skills, though, rogues will take that from them. That means I'll need to have "Weapon Skills" be different from normal skills, which adds in a new mechanic which complicates the game; that's not something I want to do. Other solutions involve simply giving nearly all weapons proficiencies as class skills for Fighters, and bumping their skill points up a bit.

I don't want to bog down the normal skills list with a bunch of weapon types. I guess it would be the same as the Knowledge and Profession skills, though? See, I'd like to maintain enough weapon skills so that you really need to invest time and effort into them in order to be able to adequately wield a variety of weapons; I don't want two or three skills like in 3.5, so that a rogue could just dump a few of their already copious amounts of skill points and pick up the slack. The capacity to effectively wield an array of weapons represents a martial versatility that defines the Fighter class, and I really want to make that their "thing". When a character has to go out of their way to learn how to use both a longsword and a spear, much less a bow or sling, it really becomes a powerful advantage when a Fighter can jump in, switching between weapons on the fly as needed. I want Fighters in my system to literally have weapons slung all around them "just in case things get hairy."

I'm also not sure how I'm going to divide up the weapons. Should I do it by weapon type, such as "Sword, Axe, Longbow, etc."? I could also go the EverQuest route with "Slashing, Blunt, Piercing, Two-hand Slashing, etc." The first list type would probably be much more comprehensive, but it could get a little crazy. At the same time, the second list seems a bit simplistic: although both swords and axes slash, they're hardly the same weapon and are hardly used in the same way.

Hm. I like the groups presented in the Pathfinder RPG, so I'll probably stick to something similar. Annnnnd... I sort of lied. I haven't finished the skills system yet, I forgot to establish how each class gains "skill points", and what those mean.

In any case, one last mention for 4.0: Balance is, and always will be, the key issue. If 4.0 is balanced, it's pretty much an improvement by default. It may not have been in the direction many were hoping, but at least it'll be fair to play.

I feel like I was born

2008-06-12T05:50:00.004-05:00

For devastation and reform.

I slept last night, which is pretty awesome.

Another merit of 4.0 is that it did streamline a lot of mechanics. Even if things don't seem to go any faster, they are a lot easier to wrap your head around. Everything from spells to combat maneuvers have been cut down to a single mechanic, a list of "Powers" that each class gains access to as they level up. Each class has their own list, and powers come in three types: At-will, Encounter, and Daily. At-will powers can be used at any time (with a few limits, such as positioning or current weapon) and as often as the player would like. Encounter powers carry a bit more punch, but can only be used once per encounter. Daily powers are your heavy artillery or life-saving powers, but can only be used once per period of rest.

Each power listing contains all the information you need on it, such as possible targets or after effects, in a single "stat block" so understanding each ability is easy. No more "spells per day" calculations, or preparation, or any of those time vacuums--it's very clear what powers your character has at any given time, what they do, who they do it to, and how often you can use them.

They took out "Base Attack Bonus", though. You just add half your level. Which I guess makes sense for their system? I mean, spells are attack rolls now, so it wouldn't make sense to either shaft/bless a Wizard with a half/full base attack. I'm sort of running into a similar problem for my d20 system, but I found the solution in a Spellcraft check versus a DC dependent on the spell's level. I wanted to retain the distinction between a Wizard's capacity to cast an offensive spell and attacking someone with a weapon. Both are attacks, yes, but they do it in much different ways and require different training.

I just got a fascinating idea. Sorry to break this post off so abruptly, but that last paragraph just gave me a very intriguing idea.

I can smell the death

2008-06-11T22:57:00.004-05:00

On the sheets covering me.

Perhaps I spoke too harshly of D&D 4.0. Or, perhaps I just didn't invest the time to adequately promote the strong points of the system.

I liked how they consolidated AC and Saves into Defenses. Unlike Saga, they maintained AC instead of absorbing it into Reflex Defense. I can appreciate this as well, because there are times when you need to just hit someone, and the only thing stopping you is how well they can dodge; in Saga there isn't a number for just "how well you get out the way". That's not a problem for Saga, because there isn't much "magic" in Saga where armor won't play a role in negation.

And, what I like even more, is that different abilities (exploits, they call them. c'mon, what the heck kind of designation is that? they could've used "maneuvers" or something) target different defenses, which gives everyone a much clearer shot of targeting an enemy's weakness. It's no longer just, "Well, he has a high AC. Shit." It gives everyone a lot more capacity versus varied opponents.

I think I finally got my sleep schedule back on track, because I am tired and it's only 11. Thus, I am off.

Surely they will perish

2008-06-11T01:33:00.006-05:00

Are they not dead already?

I attended the "D&D Game Day" this past Saturday, and working with the system really inspired me to pick mine back up again. I just finished the skills system today, which I'm happy to say indicates progress.

D&D 4.0 didn't really solve any more problems than it created, as far as I saw. The whole point of the system was to streamline 3.5, which they did; the problem is they accomplished that goal by simplifying the system. So, now they've run aground on a new problem: if you simplify the player's interface to the world, how does he act in it in a specific way? What I'm saying is shown most clearly in the following example: In D&D 4.0, the skills "Jump" "Climb" and "Swim" were all rolled together into one skill named "Athletics". So, what they're saying is that if you know how to swim, you know how to climb; this is obviously not the case, or rather, one is not indicative of the other.

It's easy to see why they did what they did; having to deal with 10 possible skills is a lot easier than having to deal with 35. The problem is not all skills can be combined. Although swimming and climbing both involve muscles, they're entirely different skills used in entirely different settings. Essentially, simplifying things does make it a lot easier, but it also cheats the player out of a decent experience. It's tough to customize and create a specific character when everything is so broad.

As far as their streamlined combat, it felt the same to me. Everyone had abilities, and unless people had in their head what they were going to do, it still took everyone a few minutes per turn, so it was about a 5 minute wait between rounds for each person. The combat still got sluggish about mid-way through, I would still roll and miss and wait to roll and miss again.

Even with all the cool new abilities, and types of abilities, and streamlining or whatever, the game didn't feel any more awesome and still had problems. ...I can be pretty cynical when it comes to "new fangled" iterations of my hobbies, though.
The (second?) most recent Relient K CD has a song on it entitled "Deathbed." It's a great song, so I encourage you to go listen to it

We're colored people

2008-06-05T00:09:00.016-05:00

And they call us the "Human Race".

I've been working on some Star Wars Saga stuff lately, and I've come up with another character:

"The Dragon's Claw" Ikthiz - CL 20
Small Jawa noble 7/Force adept 8/Force disciple 5
Destiny 4; Force 10; Dark Side 3
Init +18; Sense darkvision, Perception +18
Languages Basic, Jawaese, Tusken

Defenses Ref 39 (flat-footed 36), Fort 38, Will 45
hp 175; Threshold 38
Immune mind-affecting

Speed 4 squares
Melee lightsaber, short +17 (2d6 + 10)
Ranged blaster pistol, heavy +17 (3d8 + 10)
Atk Options Melee Defense
Special Actions Born Leader, Empower Weapon, Equilibrium, Force Focus, Telekinetic Savant
Force Powers Known (Use the Force +24) battle strike (4), farseeing, force grip (2), mind trick, move object (2), surge (2)
Force Techniques Force Point Recovery, Improved Move Light Object, Improved Sense Surroundings
Force Secrets Devastating Power, Multitarget Power, Quicken Power, Shaped Power

Abilities Str 11, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 13, Wis 16, Cha 18
Special Qualities indomitable, prophet
Talents Born Leader, Empower Weapon, Equilibrium, Force Focus, Force Perception, Force Recovery, Fortified Body, Telekinetic Power, Telekinetic Savant
Feats Force Sensitivity, Force Training (3), Linguist, Melee Defense, Skill Focus (Use the Force), Skill Training (Use the Force), Vehicular Combat, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Proficiency (Pistols), Weapon Proficiency (lightsabers, simple weapons)
Skills Gather Information +16, Initiative +18, Knowledge (Galactic Lore) +16, Perception +18, Persuasion +19, Pilot +18, Use Computer +16, Use the Force +24 Possessions lightsaber (self-built), heavy blaster pistol, Jawa robes

Ikthiz was born strong in the Force. Growing up, he found himself to be a talented leader, but was headstrong and lacked the patience to govern from a council and instead preferred to lead by example. While out on a scavenging trip, Ikthiz and his group discovered the ruins of a fallen Imperial Star Destroyer. With this find, he began devoting his entire clan to repairing the ship, and making it home. This exposure to advanced technology gave his clan a reputation for being well-versed in technical matters, and many other clans (and a few colonists) sought them out for complicated repairs or expertise. Many other clans sought them out to sell them parts, and Ikthiz and his followers would soon discover such a massive project would take extensive resources to complete.

Eventually, after years of trial and error, the group managed to make the massive ship semi-functional, and launched the vessel into orbit around Tatooine. After finalizing repairs to the ship's hyperdrive, Ikthiz christened the ship Krayt's Fang and set out to explore the far reaches of the Outer Rim.

During his travels, Ikthiz spent many hours of meditation in the quiet recesses of the largely empty vessel and became very close to the Force. He would become known as "The Dragon's Claw", a reference to both his ferocity and his ship.

Krayt's Fang on its maiden voyage
Colossal (cruiser) capital ship
Init -8; Senses Perception +0

Defense Ref 18 (flat-footed 16), Fort 56; +16 armor
hp 1,500; DR 20; Threshold 106

Speed fly 2 squares (starship scale)
Fighting Space 2x2 (starship scale); Cover total
Base Atk -5; Grp 68

Abilities Str 103, Dex 14, Con -, Int 20
Skills Initiative -8, Mechanics +0, Perception +0, Pilot -8, Use Computer +0

Crew 30 (untrained); Passengers 475
Cargo 36,000 tons; Consumables indefinite; Carried Craft 15 TIE/In Fighters, 5 AT-ATs, 8 AT-STs; all in disrepair
Hyperdrive x5, navicomputer
Availability unique; Cost not available for sale

The Krayt's Fang was little more than a passenger ship during its initial flights under Ikthiz. Housing 5 war-torn clans, all eager under Ikthiz and united through exodus, the Fang left Tatooine nothing more than a massive, mobile housing complex--a space-faring sandcrawler.

Traveling using pre-set points in the navicomputer, the Jawa tribes moved across the Outer Rim. Through its travels, the ship began to become a refuge for several vagabond tribes of other species or lone wanderers. Many of these were honorable enough characters and possessed variable levels of technical knowledge or connections to parts and equipment. With Ikthiz's strong knowledge of the Force, he was able to maintain order even with these outsiders and work with them to further the reconstruction of his ship. Although the ship would never reach the capacity it had in the hands of the Empire, it would become powerful enough to defend itself from the pirates and crime lords who would seek to own it themselves.

I serve only the Frozen Throne

2008-06-01T05:38:00.003-05:00

I live to serve all believers.

Ah, there is a LAN party tomorrow. I am most excited.

D&D 4.0 is nearing release, and I'm pretty excited. This podcast really made me miss gaming, which I've not participated in for some time now. I'm glad I've been buying those Star Wars books now, so I can run a game. I'll have Austin, Oliver, and Alex... Usually, the "ideal" group consists of four people, but I'm not entirely sure who the fourth would be. I guess, realistically, the fourth isn't entirely necessary; three should do just fine. Roleplay-wise, three makes for a great squadron.

I feel stuck watching history repeating

2008-05-28T17:11:00.008-05:00

Who am I but just a kid who knows he's needy?

There are so many parts of this war I thought I had fought already, and won. I guess I was wrong, because it has all caught back up with me. I'll deal with it this time, though, it just kills me to think what I may have lost during the struggle.

Oh, to fight heartbreak; does it ever truly go away?

To love, and be loved in return; this is what I am missing.

I think I know why this has been so stressful. I picked a pretty poor time to "turn on" the emotive side of my brain, considering my life was stagnating while I wait in limbo to get into BCT and pretty much everyone I know is in some sort of happy relationship. I think it's especially straining because Stephanie has moved on to a relationship she enjoys so much more than ours (and reasonably so). In order to remedy this, I just need to focus on what's going down, and why. I'm waiting now to see if there are any spots left in BCT, which I should know soon. Based on that info, I'll either go into BCT or move down to Russellville.

As far as girls go, I need to stop letting Stephanie and David's relationship effect me. Now, it does have a close emotional proximity to me, but I can't let that get me down. I need to trust that whoever I was six months ago knew what he was doing when he decided not to renew our relationship, and move on. I need to focus on all the possibilities now; what sort of girl could I end up with? If I'm careful, this could be really great. I thought Stephanie would be all I needed, but she wasn't, and now I can look forward to a potentially great relationship. I just need to open up, be social, and make sure not to lose track of my emotions again.

This entry has been pretty all over the place, because I've been pretty all over the place lately. I apologize if that makes this a weird read, but I can assure you I've re-stabilized and will hopefully not be so stressed out from here on out.

Time passes and tells us what we're left with

2008-05-24T21:28:00.009-05:00

We become the things we do.

I understand a lot more about this, now. I remember a lot more about what I struggled with years ago, perhaps why it was sealed beneath me for all this time. I recall the ups, the downs, the in-betweens. All these old emotive pathways, darkened from my vision for so long, are now lit, and I can see them as they trace across my history and into my future.

Now I must don this old armor, and fight on through this age-old war between who I am and who I should be; between where I am and where I should be. There are parts of this conflict I'm going to relish, and many more I'm going to despise. I can only hope that I won't always have to fight it alone.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the last several posts I haven't really discussed anything beyond this recent awakening, and that's obviously because it's been one of the most important things happening to me. But it's not the only thing, I've not been locked in isolated meditation, thank the fates; part of what I've remembered these past few weeks is the value of company.

I've been working really hard to level with Stephanie. She's understandably hurt, and I felt she was avoiding me, and after almost three months of silence I just felt like I needed to talk to her to get some things straight. I still feel like there's some awkward there, but we've made a lot of progress, and I'm just glad we'll be able to maintain a friendship.

I hosted a LAN party last Wednesday and I have to say it was one of the best I've ever had. The turn-out was great, we had about 8-9 attendees, and with the Pang's tables we were able to comfortably seat them all. We got a lot of gaming done (approx. 12 hours) and even brought an old classic (Red Faction) back into the mix. It was a lot of fun and a great follow-up to the LAN at the Pang's the week before. I'd love to follow this one up with another LAN later this week; we'll see how it goes.

I've been playing through KotOR II, and I'm not sure what to think of it. Some things are a lot better, but I do think some things have gotten worse. The scripting is good as ever, and there are more feat, skill, and force power options. The programming feels terribly shoddy, though; the camera skips back and forth and places itself awkwardly during conversations; having a speed boost (such as Knight Speed) can cause triggers to not occur; character animations are sometimes weird; the graphics engine seems to have a lot of trouble processing on my computer; and, your allies are as dumb as ever during combat (running through mines to get enemies, for example). In any case, the game hasn't sucked me in like KotOR I did, and I think that's just because of the shoddy programming playing the game itself is sort of a pain in the ass.

As far as BCT goes, possible dates for me in June are the 1st-15th, and my recruiter said he'd give me a call a week in advance. That means I should be getting a call this upcoming week if there is a spot open.

Next weekend I'm going to go meet up with Valerie, and me and Karl are supposed to hang out sometime this week. Also, I've got to run that Starship Adventure for Alex, Austin, and Oliver. This week will hold a lot of good times if I can just hold myself together; I guess that's always been the trick, though.

It's funny how you enjoy your life

2008-05-24T03:06:00.004-05:00

When you're happy to be alive.

Things are looking up so much. Ah! Feels good to be alive, I guess I should say.

Also, this site has some really cool stuff for those of you D&D junkies out there.

Can you tell me what stopped the rain?

2008-05-19T21:26:00.004-05:00

Could you tell me what stopped it?

I've grown somewhat used to that feeling, the one I described below. It hasn't gone away yet, it just shifts, back and forth from good to bad, dancing inside me like a fire in the wind.

Can hold my breath only for a little while

2008-05-19T04:21:00.007-05:00

Then reality starts sinking in.

Why do I feel this way? A lot of thinking this past week has really broken me down, which is allowing me to see that so much more of myself is malfunctioning than I thought. Here I sit, alone, nostalgia tugging at my heart strings with memories of ages young and ages long gone. I try to escape it with music, but it doesn't work; these songs only bring up more thoughts of people and times when I felt so much less like I was falling apart. I pace, I meditate, I analyze and dissect it endlessly... to no avail. The only thing I can think to do is just sit here and hold out 'til dawn, when the sun rises and the people of this world wake up to distract me back into sleep.

Find me if you find a way.

I'll die alone

2008-05-18T06:08:00.005-05:00

But not for you.

Things are going well. I haven't seen that information leak manifest itself into any real problems, though I imagine it will haunt me in the future; really, though, it just boils down to more of the knowledge of the problem than the problem itself that bothered me.

In any case, it hasn't been able to get me down. The LAN party the other night really helped me as well. I went to a party earlier this morning, and I got to hang out with some people that I haven't seen since high school. Other than that, the party wasn't especially fascinating. I did manage to survive a social situation without making a total fool of myself, though, which is nice.

To summarize what I've realized this past week, I haven't had my life in any semblance of order since at least my junior year of high school, maybe earlier. It took the stresses and losses of the past few months to show me, and I guess in the end I'll be thankful for that. This problem is compounded by.. well, I suppose it's best said with lyrics:

And it's happened once again--I’ll turn to a friend,
someone who understands and sees through the master plan.
But everybody’s gone, and I’ve been here for too long
to face this on my own; well, I guess this is "growing up".
(Blink 182 - Growing Up)

Oh, how fun!

2008-05-16T00:29:00.003-05:00

They decided to complicate things for me.

A few poor choices made by someone close to me has really breached a lot of my personal security. Not physically, but some very personal information leaked out regarding me that should never have seen light. I feel pretty violated.

I can't let it get me too down though, not when I'm this close. This week, actually, has been quite a sink for my recent emotional elevation. Gotta keep truckin', though. This is gonna take patience, and in the end it's going to make sense.

And I spent all last night tearing down

2008-05-14T22:29:00.003-05:00

Every stoplight and stop sign in this town.

I'm too tired to really get into it now, but I do feel a lot better. I guess something just clicked with that last post, and I've leveled with my current situation a lot more. I'll go into it later, I guess; it just feels good to say.

Something tells me that this is going to make sense

2008-05-12T18:59:00.003-05:00

Something tells me it’s going to take patience.

I'm not really sure what to make of my life or myself right now. I guess it's one of those times when you thought you had everything worked out, everything accounted for, but you don't. Realistically speaking, you never did. It all just comes out and hits you pretty hard, and you're not sure what to do with it.

Normally, you rely on friends and those close to you to support you, but what happens when you can't really count on that? What happens when people you thought you were close to you can't really trust anymore? Or those people show a different side of themselves, and you don't really know who you can count on--who you can depend on to know you, and help you sort yourself out. Some friends you want to rely on, but you know they're going through their own stuff and you don't want to weigh them down any more.

I thought I had solved this problem, years ago. Here it is though, once again staring me in the face. The reality that I've done my best to muffle, ignore, or even warp is back, and I no longer have the energy to just put it off. I thought I could just put myself in cryo-stasis; just freeze myself until some later date when I would have the resources to fix myself, or the outside assistance to be fixed. Time has run out, though, and there has been no breakthrough--I feel just as alone as I did years ago. Now, I've run out of options. I have to push through this, I have to deal with this.

I've always known I'd have to deal with this, I just thought I'd know more by now. I'm quite the procrastinator, eh? I just can't put it all off anymore. If I'm going to get anywhere, I'll have to get there through this.

Planning big could be a gamble

2008-05-11T02:59:00.001-05:00

I've already rolled the dice.

School is over, and although it hasn't really sunken in yet, I do enjoy the thought.

Cleaning out our dorm room was... quite a bit of effort. We really let that place go to hell. Thinking back, if we had kept it at least partially tidy it would have been a much more enjoyable place to live.

I may postpone-- and by that, I mean, choose a later ship date for BCT depending on what I'm offered. I may spend the summer down here, go to basic in the fall, then AIT next spring.

I'm currently at French's, where I'll be until around the middle of next week.

If only you

2008-05-04T20:55:00.001-05:00

You only knew.

This weekend was my first drill with the National Guard, and overall I enjoyed it. The first day was especially recreational. It was full of PT (Physical Training), but I didn't mind because I felt challenged and I was able to keep pace. The second day was less enjoyable primarily because my muscles were largely broken down because of the activities on Friday. At the end, I couldn't even really do push-ups. However, I was able to run a mile, which really made me happy; I've been trying to get up the endurance to do that for months now, but up until today I've only been able to get about halfway.

In any case, this weekend was the perfect thing to help me get my mind off things and work off a lot of steam. Stephanie and David's relationship doesn't frustrate me very much anymore, although I'll probably still do my best to avoid weird situations--hah!

I gave you a taste

2008-05-02T15:25:00.002-05:00

Oh, how you've grown.

I've finally gotten around to stat'ing out those new races, and here they are:

Dug

Personality: Dugs are violent and aggressive, and have a reputation for being bullies.
Physical Description: Dug stand around 1 meter tall, with their smooth skin in a brown or purple hue. Although all walk on four legs at some point, most prefer to walk with their arms and use their legs for more precise tasks.
Homeworld: The contested, forested world of Malastare.
Languages: Dug, Basic.
Example Names: Pugwis, Sebolto, Sebulba.
Adventurers: Escaping slavery on their home planet, many Dugs follow their aggressive nature and push out to the stars.

Dug Species Traits:

Ability Modifiers: +2 Strength, +2 Dexterity, -2 Wisdom, -2 Charisma. Dug are strong and agile, but are headstrong and considered bullies.
Small Size: As small creatures, Dug gain a +1 bonus to their Reflex Defense and a +5 size bonus on Stealth checks. However, their lifting and carrying limits are three-quarters of those of Medium characters.
Speed: Dug base land speed is 4 squares.
Low-Light Vision: Dug ignore concealment (but not total concealment) from darkness. However, they cannot perceive colors in total darkness.
Brachiation: Dug may travel their full base speed while climbing as a full round action with no penalty.
Conditional Bonus Feat: Natural climbers, Dug characters who have Climb as a trained skill gain Skill Focus (Climb) as a bonus feat.
Automatic Languages: Basic and Dug.

Shistavanen

Personality: Shistavanen are loners and isolationists, preferring the company of their own.
Physical Description: Shistavanen stand about 1.8 meters tall. They have a lupine appearance with fur, fangs, and snouts.
Homeworld: Uvena Prime and Uvena III.
Languages: Shistavanen, Basic.
Example Names: Hovrak, Voolvif Monn, Riv Shiel, Tagg Sivrak, Lak, Mal Biron.
Adventurers: Shistavanen are frequently employed as scouts and mercenaries, and many more find jobs as bounty hunters.

Shistavanen Species Traits:

Medium Size: As Medium creatures, Shistavanen have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
Speed: Shistavanen base land speed is 8 squares.
Extraordinary Recuperation: A Shistavanen regains hit points at double the normal rate (see Natural Healing, page 148 of the Saga Edition Core Rulebook).
Heightened Awareness: Shistavanen have good eyesight, sharp hearing, and a keen sense of smell. A Shistavanen may choose to reroll any Perception check, but the result of the reoll must be accepted even if it is worse. While at close range (within 10 squares), Shistavanen ignore concealment and cover for the purposes of Perception checks, and they take no penalty from poor visibility when tracking (see Survival skill, page 73 of the Saga Edition Core Rulebook).
Darkvision: Shistavanen ignore concealment (including total concealment) from darkness. However, they cannot perceive colors in total darkness.
Automatic Languages: Basic and Shistavanen.

Talz

Personality: Talz are peaceful, gentle, and kind-hearted, as well as being diligent and tireless workers.
Physical Description: Talz are large bipeds that average 2 to 2.5 meters in height. They have white fur, four small black eyes, and large hands with sharp claws.
Homeworld: The frigid, desolate planet of Alzoc III.
Languages: The Talz speak Talzzi, a language of sharp chirps and buzzes. Talz can understand Basic, although they cannot speak it.
Example Names: Chup-Chup, Gar, Muftak, Bama Vook, Byshyk.
Adventurers: Talz adventurers are typically fugitives from Imperial slavery on their homeworld. Many of these seek to find a quiet, peaceful life where they can earn an honest living.

Talz Species Traits:

Ability Modifiers: +2 Strength, +2 Wisdom, -2 Intelligence, -2 Charisma. Talz are strong and have a complex psychology, but they are primitive and have an odd anatomy that tends to make people feel uncomfortable.
Medium Size: As Medium creatures, Talz have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
Speed: Talz base speed is 6 squares.
Darkvision: Talz ignore concealment (including total concealment) from darkness. However, they cannot perceive colors in total darkness.
Icedweller: Talz gain a +5 species bonus to their Fortitude defense versus Extreme Cold (see Extreme Temperatures, page 254 of the Saga Edition Core Rulebook).
Sharp Claws: Talz increase damage done using an unarmed attack by one die (for example, 1d4 to 1d6).
Conditional Bonus Feat: Talz are enduring, and a Talz with Endurance as a trained skill gains Skill Focus (Endurance) as a bonus feat.
Automatic Languages: Understand Basic, Speak Talzzi. Talz cannot speak languages other than Talzzi, however, and must use a specially designed, external voice box to translate their sounds into other languages. These voice boxes cost around 1,000 credits and must be purchased specially. Talz characters begin play with one voicebox at no cost. This voicebox can be upgraded to translate additional languages at a cost of 1,000 credits per language.

I'd like to thank Mr. Death for what he's done

2008-05-01T18:06:00.001-05:00

'Cause I got to walk away from my hit and run.

There was a Super Smash Brothers Brawl tournament yesterday, and although I did better than I did at the Melee tournament months ago I still got knocked out the first round. I was pretty upset at the time, because I lost to Meta Knight, but now I feel OK about it; I lost, but I gave the guy a good fight.

I've been uploading some more replays to the site, so feel free to check them out.

I finally beat KotOR as Light Side, clocking in at just over 27 hours. It wasn't as long as I had heard (some estimates put the game's length at 40 hours minus sidequesting), but it was still much longer than most games I've played in a while. I'm going to go through it again as Dark Side, just for good measure.

I've also continued my quest through Reign of Chaos on Hard mode, and there have been some tight spots. The third Night Elf mission took me a few tries, and now I'm trying to work my way through the sixth mission. I guess it's hard to play the Night Elf campaign anyway just because it's so boring. "blah blah blah outsiders, blah blah blah awaken the druids".

Grades are coming in for the last bit of the semester and my lack of effort is really starting to show: I've got low C's in most of my classes. Although I am mostly OK with that, I can't help but be a tad frustrated with myself. Most of the reason has to do with stupid things, like forgetting an assignment here or sleeping through a class; things I could have avoided had I paid even a bit more attention towards college.

Stephanie and David are dating now, which is weird. Weird for several reasons, many of which I don't really need to say. I could ramble on it for quite a while, but I'm not sure I can yet make exact sense of why it frustrates me. When David asked me if it would be a problem, I of course said that it wouldn't; I don't have feelings for Stephanie so I figured it'd be fine. Now, I just find the whole situation quite vexing, and I'm sure to ramble about it back here when I can figure out why.
My birthday is coming up soon, and of course I'm going to try and organize a LAN party to celebrate. It will be good times. Hopefully.

Berzerkers are born in conflict

2008-04-23T03:03:00.001-05:00

And baptized in blood.

Hrm! An intriguing development, I have seen. It'll be interesting to watch it play out.

I've been completely absorbed with Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic these past few days, since Nevin got it for PC. I've already got more than 20 hours invested in the game. It's been a very fulfilling time for me, game-wise.

I've also been thinking more about that class system for WoW I suggested a few weeks back, and I like the idea of racial talents/talent trees a lot more than racial classes; racial classes just wouldn't be efficient.

While I was in the shower today, I pondered the psychological difference between males and females. I've never felt it was enough to think that males are cognitive while females are emotive; I see too much evidence against that on a daily basis. Rather, I seem to think that males are simply dominantly cognitive while females are the opposite. This implies that both sides are affected by both cognition and emotion, merely in different ways; they are both present, the difference lies in how the two interact. I suppose we've all understood that since the beginning, but I've finally found a way to put it into words, which I guess gives the discovery more personal significance than anything else.

Look at yourself

2008-04-14T09:32:00.001-05:00

Look what you've become.

I'm not sure if you guys have been keeping up with Penny-Arcade or not, but their most recent story arc is great.

I will only complicate you

2008-04-05T13:32:00.001-05:00

Trust in me and fall as well.

I've been thinking more about the new class system I suggested for World of Warcraft, and I've hit on some new ideas.

What if, instead of simply creating new race specific classes for each race, there were racial talent trees? Each race had their own set of talents they could choose from, per class. Or, if that's a bit complicated, add a racial talent tree for each class. Or, even then, just add in a few talents unique to each race.

Then, each talent tree would be named after that culture's take on whatever class. For example, Night Elf Druids might choose from the Druid of the Claw tree or the Druid of the Talon; Tauren would have a Spirit Walker tree.

This system would allow for the natural overlap (abilities like "Hamstring" or "Heroic Strike" are going to be common no matter where you come from), but would still allow the culture and physiology of a race to play a big part in the character's development and combat options.

Surrender to the Scourge!

2008-04-03T12:06:00.001-05:00

Let terror reign!

Re-working existing video games is sort of a past time for me and my friends, and World of Warcraft hasn't been spared this fate. In fact, because of our disdain for the game's current content and lore, we end up trying to re-work it almost every time it comes up in conversation.

One of the biggest topics we cover is races and alliances, and after that we hit up classes. The race discussion has boiled down over the years and pretty much looks like this: Burning Crusade should have implemented a third faction consisting of Blood Elves, Naga, Broken (oldschool) Dranei, and Fel Orcs. There are, of course, some variations, the most extreme being that there should be roughly four to five factions, with the Night Elves and Forsaken being on their own. I don't personally favor that last option, simply because four races per faction does work out nicely for mechanics and doesn't do any real harm to lore; although, Night Elves were a bit too xenophobic in Warcraft III for them to be all buddy-buddy with the Alliance only four years later.

I just enjoy the added faction because it really plays into and expands a lot of story arcs in "The Frozen Throne": Illidan and Lady Vashj, bolstered by the blood elves and Kael'thas, reconquered large sections of Draenor when they defeated Magtheridon and are now secure enough to begin pursuing other agendas--perhaps using the pre-existing portals on Draenor to seek other demonic artifacts! The existing story puts that whole faction together so well it really does kill me that Blizzard didn't go ahead with it.

I do like how the first expansion covered Draenor because it's pivotal in the Warcraft universe. Northrend is kinda of neat, and the content certainly needs to be covered, but I thought it would be neat if they had branched out through Draenor--the planet was torn apart by portals, after all. Speaking of "content that needs to be covered", whatever happened to Gilneas? Apparently they held off the Scourge, which is surprising because even Lordaeron fell. There's just sort of this big wall there with a bunch of land behind it. Weird.

The classes were a bit trickier, and we all expected a bit more out of this section when it came to Warcraft RPGs. Namely, race-specific classes. This is something I've been wanting to see in a game for a long time, and very few games actually deliver--the upcoming Warhammer Online being one of them. With Warcraft, it just makes sense. Warcraft III gave at least one hero for each race presented in World of Warcraft that had a unique class. Trolls were Shadow Hunters, while Orcs had Blademasters; Humans had Paladins and Night Elves had, well.. several. The list goes on, anyway. The point is there's a lot of content to expand on there.

There are a lot of things about racial classes that need discussing; a good example are the Druids for the Night Elves who were previously only males, or the banshees for Forsaken who are only females.

Conceptually, however, I really enjoy the idea of racial classes. Each race has different a physiology, culture, history, etc. that would define how they decided to solve certain problems. For example, the humans take on "meat shield" is going to be a lot different than the Tauren's view, or even the Dwarves. We see that Night Elves predominately field ranged units, while Orcs focus almost exclusively on hand-to-hand combat. Gnomes aren't going to rely too much on physical prowess, but instead are going to play on their natural intellect while Blood Elves focus on their inherent magic. Furthermore, regardless of how smart a Gnome is, you're not really going to see very many Gnomish Warlocks (especially not around Stormwind), nor will you find a lot of Blood Elves who have no magical capacity. Blood Elves weave their magic with their combat skill, producing Spellbreakers.

Gnomes, though... gnomes are tricky. They don't really have any part in Warcraft lore. They had those handful of units way back in Warcraft II, but even then, not much was said about them besides their knack for tinkering. I might have to go with 4.0 on this one, and just cut them out. They just don't fit. I'm not entirely sure who else would be on the Alliance, though.

Achieving World Peace

2008-04-01T10:27:00.002-05:00

One casualty at a time.

I went down to meet up with my recruiter last thursday night, and went down to Little Rock for testing Friday afternoon. I passed the ASVAB with a 96, so I'm not worried about that. I passed all the physicals as well, except that they want some documentation regarding the ankle I broke back in 7th grade. It's more than a little frustrating that my entry is being delayed for something like that, especially considering I was able to pass all the other tests (including balance and flexibility of the joint). Not much I can do about it, though, so I'm waiting.

I'm back to school from Spring Break, and unlike most of my peers I find it a bit refreshing. The break was sort of boring in the beginning and hectic near the end. It could have been a lot more enjoyable had it been a week earlier. Either way, the military testing visit threw my sleep schedule off, which has historically been an issue for me. I stayed up all sunday night to try and reset it last night but ended up crashing around 3 o'clock. I slept through my evening class, and woke up at about midnight. All is not lost, however, because I went back to sleep around 3 and woke up at about 7. I should be able to stay up all day and crash tonight at a decent hour.

Staying up all night is pretty weird. I usually end up on some nostalgia trip, and this particular instance had me re-reading my Xanga from the end of my senior year up. It was quite the trip. From dealing with Shianne, to dealing with other females, into liking Stephanie, out of liking Stephanie, and back into liking Stephanie--from working at the Pontiac Coffee House to working at Arby's--from living at my house to living in a dorm to living in the apartment over the summer--from LAN'ing at David's house to Joel's house to the church and back to my house. A lot happened in those two and a half years. Kinda odd how there are still many to come.

On that note, I really need to practice walking with my head up so I can take in the scenery; make it harder to forget what's going on.

Always think we get more time

2008-03-27T01:28:00.001-05:00

Don’t we always wish we had more time?

Spring Break has been alright so far. I've yet to see if I'll need to shuttle myself down to Russellville tomorrow or later, but I have informed my mother that I intend to sign up tomorrow regardless. For the record, I'm not doing it against her will, but I am pushing to go ahead and join because I've thought about it and I'm tired of thinking how cool it would be to join and not joining. That's always something that's bothered me: talking about how cool or fun achieving some goal will be without taking steps to achieve it. Sometimes taking steps is hard, but in this case I just want to get the ball rolling.

Anyway, most of my spring break has been spent being up all night and sleeping all day. Everyone up here already had their break, so they're all back to school and work and what-not. Not much to do, I guess I'm trying to say. I got to hang out with Byron, which was fun. Sunday night, Austin, Oliver and myself all played a lot of Warcraft III. I've played some Brawl as well, which is nice. Tonight, we watched "Event Horizon", which I enjoyed. Other than that, I don't really feel like I've done anything. It's not because there aren't cool people here, just that they're all busy again. Why does Arkansas Tech feel the need to offset all of their breaks by one week? And then not even have fall break? What a bother.

While Byron and I were hanging out, we read through some D&D v4.0 preview books. I liked some of the things I read, but I didn't really learn enough to make any judgements. I'll just have to see the game when it comes out. While I read, I couldn't help but keep thinking how my system works. I really want to finish it. Honestly, most of the mechanics are done, it just needs content (feats and spells need to be updated). Gah... so much more needs to be done.

Summary, I feel sorta down about Spring Break. I just feel like it should have had so much more in it, and now it's almost over for me. The Springdale half is, anyway.

On that note, being here and hanging out with my siblings has brought back memories from when I lived here. Very odd that they will be graduating this year. On one hand, it seems like just the other month when I graduated, but on the other I really see how much I've changed since I was a senior in high school. Only two years, but damn doesn't it seem like a broken clock?

Surrender

2008-03-23T02:23:00.001-05:00

Every word, every thought, every sound.

I'm back in Springdale, presumably until Thursday. Perhaps later, though. It depends on if I can get the National Guard folks here to shuttle me down to Little Rock or if I'll need to drive down to Russellville.

Identification Division.

2008-03-21T18:15:00.001-05:00

Data Division.

Of course, I also feel bad when I sleep in the morning through my classes.

Fallen leaves, fallen leaves

2008-03-18T02:14:00.001-05:00

Fallen leaves on the ground.

I always feel bad when I sleep late into the evening for some reason. I feel as though I've somehow slept through the most eventful part of the day, and now that everyone else is gone (off sleeping until the next morning or off doing other things) I'm left here, with no connections and nothing to do. It's an odd feeling.

Speaking as loneliness listens

2008-03-16T20:52:00.001-05:00

While hopelessly feeling.

I do enjoy some good ol' OC Remixs. An especial favorite of mine can be found here; I linked it as a recommendation to anyone who enjoys Legend of Zelda series music.

I will say that not working this weekend has been really nice. I've had so much time to hang out with people, play video games, and RP that I think I've done more in the past two or three days than I've done this whole semester. I've picked up Wind Waker again and I intend to actually finish it this time. After that I'm going to work my way through Metroid Prime: Echoes, and then drudge through Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles. I'm tolerating the last one's painful gameplay for it's graphics and music. And I just feel like beating some more games, and its one of the few I own that I haven't finished.

As far as the mechanics for Dark Heresy go, they operate on a d10 system, meaning that the only dice used is ten-sided. This simplifies things a lot, and I prefer the d20 system if for no other reason than the range of dice allow for a multi-dimensional system of damage, hit points, and statistics. Your standard check, called a Test, is performed by rolling percentage (2d10) against a given Statistic (a character's attributes). If the result is below the statistic, the test is successful. An average citizen's Statistic is stated to be 25-36, with a heroic statistic falling a little above. Anything above 50 is said to be God-like. Based on the situation, modifiers are placed on your Test result in increments of ten (up to a +30 for routine activities and as low as a -30 for extremely difficult scenarios). This can make things pretty tough for the players, as a Test regarding a low statistic can fail more than %75 of the time, and even high statistics will land you a %50-%60 fail rate.

Leveling up doesn't exist, per se. You gain experience, but rather than throwing the experience into a pool and using that to determine discrete gain (such as levels), you use the experience as currency to buy skills and talents. Thus, progression is much more smooth than in standard d20 systems, where a high level character can, after a few months, suddenly feel a substantial increase in power. You do have rank, however, based on total experience earned. Based on your rank in your chosen class, you will have access to certain skills and talents at certain costs. I do prefer this system, because it gives the players the feel of a more continuous progression rather than isolated, and seemingly random, jumps in power.

Over all, I appreciate the way many of the mechanics work. I'd prefer a d20 system, but other than the game is a lot of fun to play and easy to learn. I wasn't really satisfied with the content of the game, however, and even with the sourcebooks scheduled to be released, I don't see any real sign of new content in the direction that I as looking forward to. I think Nevin said it best when he asserted that the entire book seemed "half-assed". I suggest picking up the system, and then either moving on or getting ready to make up a good portion of the content you'll need for your adventure.

I went by Game Exchange today to sell my copies of Pokemon: Pearl and Leafgreen, because they had a "Wanted" list there with those games mentioned. The list was small, too, so I figured it was specific enough to warrant a more substantial exchange for my games than the $20 they offered me. Pearl alone goes for about $15 to $20 on Ebay, with Leafgreen ranging from $5 to $15. So, I'm just going to sell them on Ebay.

I think I'm moving

2008-03-11T08:44:00.001-05:00

But I go nowhere.

First on the list of big entry posting, me and Stephanie broke up. Certainly things are likely more complicated than that, and I could probably elaborate extensively. But to be fair for me, there was no drama in the break up, so that really makes the whole thing a lot less "full" when it comes to conversation matter. Put simply (appended to first sentence), I wasn't what she needed and that's what she decided. She hesitated later, but we remain separated.

I was able, through my vast catalog of nefarious connections, to procure a copy of the new Warhammer 40k RPG, Dark Heresy. Although the skeletal system of the game (the dice mechanics and classes) are fairly solid, some of the other content was lacking. They did better than Star Wars Saga Edition, but they suffer from the same syndrome: trying to fit an entire RPG into one core rulebook.

Essentially, the system is lacking in content. The class section is fairly full, but suffers a bit from overlap (Assassins, Guardsmen, and Arbitrators). The skills section suffers fairly badly from overlap, with skills such as Gambling and Evaluation being separate; in addition, there are some skills, such as "Blather", which I found to be not only useless but awkward. The Talents chapter has a lot of good content, but there are a few (such as "Decadence", which grants bonuses to resist the effects of alcohol) that I found to be, on the larger scale, a waste of experience.

Moving along to the Items section, weapons were done quite well. There's a good variety of unique types and models. To supplement the already existing lists, there are a series of weapon modifiers (the equivalent of magical enhancements) which affect a weapon. Armor and Tools were meager, with only a few types of armor and about 20 tools. I would have appreciated some unique armors and armor modifiers, and then a lot more tools.

They didn't include a vehicles section, which I feel is a must in any sci-fi RPG or, well... anything. They added a download-able packet later on with some vehicles in it, but the problem was that now I have to download and then dig through a PDF to get the information, which is annoying.

The enemies section had a lot of human types, some cool chaos monsters, and a few animals. I have two complaints here: First, they didn't really give each creature special abilities. Each entry was simply assigned a set of stats (and occasionally a picture). Second, the whole section had none of the other alien species, like Eldar or Orcs. So it's like the book missed a huge chunk of the entire universe. I understand that this is supposed to be focused on the Inquisition, but the Inquisition is about eradicating the alien, the mutant, the heretic... They could be sent out to track down a Tau fugitive, for example. But no, you'll be facing none other than Chaos lackeys, and other humans.

The mechanics are interesting, but I feel like I've rambled enough about this for one post. I'll talk about those some other time no doubt. On to other things.
I put in my two weeks at Steak Escape, but they closed down today, so I didn't get to finish them. This is actually pretty cool, because now I'm eligible for unemployment. I know, you might criticize me for taking it when I don't "need" it, and I'll reply with this: Just because I'm not raising 3 illegitimate children doesn't mean I don't have stuff to pay. The money isn't going to buy me a new game or fix my computer. It won't even go towards food or gas. It's going to pay on my tuition for college. In any case, it could turn out pretty well, depending on how much I get.

Speaking of having to pay off tuition, I've decided to join the National Guard in exchange for them paying of my college (as well as other benefits). I'm not really worried about Basic Training, or about being sent to Iraq. Basic Training will be hard, but it will also get me in shape and give me some good habits. I'm signing up for the "college first" program, so I can't be shipped out for at least two years. Then, if I do get sent overseas, I'll be an IT guy, not a marine. Even still, it's a war zone, and I could get shot and killed. That fate sounds far more appealing than staying here, working 30 hours a week during college just to pay what I can, then having to pay off the rest of the loans later on. It's just a financial hole I'd rather avoid. And I may catch flak for joining because of the pay, but there are other things I will gain there; money is just the most pertinent one.
If I do decide to join, I'll be going down to Little Rock on the 31st for enroll, and then I'll ship out for Basic on May 20th. I'll be there for about 9 weeks before I go to AIT (Advanced Initial Training), which will last until about November. Then I'll be released for my weekend-a-month drill and two-weeks-a-year training. I'll miss next semester of school, but I'll be back in the spring, with everything paid.

I'm pretty sure Russellville received record snow the other day (monday before last, if I remember correctly). We were finishing up a Dark Heresy session when we walked outside into a torrent of snow working on adding to the 6 inches already on the ground. We decided to embark on an expedition, given we'd probably never see this much snow again. We ended up walking for about 4 and a half hours, from Josh's house to the apartment, then back to Josh's, then over to Campus Court. The snow was enough to prevent even my van from budging, so we had to hoof it home. It was a long journey, made even longer by our staying up all night. It was worth it though, and we certainly proved ourselves.

As far as the new D&D system goes, things have gotten off track and I apologize for that. It was supposed to be done by now, but I've moved on to other projects. I'm going back to it though, now that I have one place I can get all the feats and spells and classes from. Hopefully it'll be done soon.

For the purposes of personal reference, and perhaps interest to the reader, here are the current projects I'm working on:

New D&D system (Here-to-fore referred to as 3.8, although the other suggestion "4.better" is awesome as well)
Homebrew D&D game for DS
Dark Heresy campaign
Terran Campaign & Setting
Dragon Campaign & Setting

Quite a bit, hm. In any case, I'm hoping to have as much done as I can before I ship out (obviously).

Genesis of Next

2008-03-06T03:37:00.001-06:00

I can't get it out of my mind.

Ah! I have returned; you may now resume your dismay. Seriously, though, this thing has grown a bit stagnant over the last several weeks, and for that I apologize. I've yet to deliver on the new races as you may have been looking forward to, and again I extend my apologies.

I have been quite busy since my last post, with school, work, and recreational activities. When I finally get around to it, the post here will be quite lengthy, because I have several things to discuss:

Me and Stephanie broke up
Dark Heresy, the new Warhammer 40k pen'n'paper
I am quitting Steak Escape
I plan on joining the National Guard
Russellville was blizzard'd the other day
Additional notes/comments/status of the new D&D system

Some of those topics are larger bombs than others, but they'll all be discussed (and probably more).

Are you the victim?

2008-02-02T01:42:00.001-06:00

Or just a member of the cycle?

I haven't gotten around to working on the new system lately, turns out the human body needs sleep or something obnoxious like that.

As far as the new Star Wars species I stat'd out, I've got them pretty much done, I'm just too lazy to write/format them here. But, they are done, and I'll likely transcribe the document into HTML sometime over the weekend. After that, my next mini-project is to write out a character sheet for my new system, which is going to be an interesting challenge (Especially given the capacity for variable condition tracks).

Thursday I attended a Super Smash Brothers Tournament, which was quite disheartening. I lost in the first round, to a girl; a girl who played Peach. It was the coup de grace to end them all (Which I guess is what a coup de grace does). The first fight I pretty much got raped, but I put forth a valiant effort in the second match.

The real problem was I couldn't figure out what was more frustrating: Getting paired against a Peach in the first round, or only having one round of playtime.

I saw the reflection

2008-01-29T03:50:00.001-06:00

And yes, it disturbed me.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, specifically with those new racial specs, but I've been busy working on the new D&D system me and, supposedly, a friend (Eli) are working on. Really, I've done all the grunt work so far, and at least half of the brainstorming. As you can imagine, I've got a lot of work to do, but I'm making a lot of progress. At this point, I've decided to worry about Book of Nine maneuvers later (if at all), so I've only a few major steps left:

Finish categorizing feats, which is a lot more work than it sounds
Tweak spells to work into the condition track system

Technically, I need to print out a manual, but I can do that after beta testing, which we'll (hopefully) be seeing within the next few weeks.

Locked in a box

2008-01-12T12:31:00.001-06:00

With a light that won't shine.

I returned from the snowboarding trip last night, and I was able to finish stat'ing out the Wayfarer-class Medium Transport. Sorry it took so long, and here we go:

Wayfarer-class Medium Transport
Colossal Space Transport
Init -4; Senses Perception +5

Defenses Ref 13 (flat-footed 12), Fort 35; +12 Armor
hp 200; DR 15; SR 30; Threshold 85

Speed fly 12 squares (max. velocity 830 km/h), fly 3 squares (starship scale)
Ranged laser cannons +2 (see below) and
Ranged quad laser cannons +2 (see below)
Fighting Space 1 square (starship scale)
Base Atk +0; Grp +45

Atk Options autofire (quad laser cannons)
Abilities Str 50, Dex 12, Con -, Int 14
Skills Initiative -4, Mechanics +5, Perception +5, Pilot -3, Use Computer +5

Crew 4 (normal); Passengers 6
Cargo 15 tons; Consumables 3 months; Carried Craft none
Hyperdrive x2 (x14 backup), navicomputer
Availability Licensed; Cost 160,000 (80,000 used)

Laser cannons (gunner): Atk +2, Dmg 4d10x2

Quad laser cannons (gunner): Atk +2 (autofire -3), Dmg 6d10x2

Wayfarer-class Medium Transport
-with attached Hangar Pod
Colossal (Frigate) Heavy Transport
Init -4; Senses Perception +5

Defenses Ref 12 (flat-footed 12), Fort 35; +12 Armor
hp 420; DR 15; SR 30; Threshold 135

Speed fly 2 squares (starship scale)
Ranged laser cannons +2 (see below) and
Ranged quad laser cannons +2 (see below)
Fighting Space 1 square (starship scale)
Base Atk +0; Grp +45

Atk Options autofire (quad laser cannons)
Abilities Str 50, Dex 10, Con -, Int 14
Skills Initiative -4, Mechanics +5, Perception +5, Pilot -3, Use Computer +5

Crew 10 (normal); Passengers 6
Cargo 220* tons; Consumables 3 months; Carried Craft 2 huge starfighters
Hyperdrive x2 (x14 backup), navicomputer
Availability Licensed; Cost 320,000 (200,000 used)
*area for cargo after starfighters are docked; each empty hangar has room for 400 tons of cargo

Laser cannons (gunner): Atk +2, Dmg 4d10x2

Quad laser cannons (gunner): Atk +2 (autofire -3), Dmg 6d10x2

Apologies on the messy table, I think I'll convert it to div format here in a bit (Edit, 1/13/08: I re-coded the data into a div structure, so it looks much nicer). I've got some more stats to add (I'm re-doing the Talz again, adding in a modified TIE-bomber, and stat'ing out some new species, such as the Dug and Shistavanen), so I'll get those in once I've got the div format down.

"Dude, get your own."

2008-01-04T03:15:00.001-06:00

Nobody wants their own, and nobody wants yours either.

I was working on stat'ing out a new starship for Saga Edition to christen my new book's arrival (Starships of the Galaxy). The whole interest came about after reading through the ship customization/upgrade section, and my odd fascination with the Wayfarer-class Medium Transport.
Initially, I wasn't sure how to classify the ship. When creating a new stat block for a ship, you first pick the ship's stock model; some examples options are: Cruiser, Frigate, Light Freighter, Heavy Freighter, Bomber, etc. Now, the Wayfarer-class is a medium freighter, that is to say it's larger than a light freighter but not quite large enough to classify as a heavy freighter. It totals about 80 meters head-to-metaphorical-toe, which puts it square between the 40 meter lights and the 120 meter heavys.

My first idea was to create a new classification, aptly named Medium Freighter, which had stats that rested directly between it's other-sized counterparts. This only gave me two problems: I couldn't squeeze enough emplacement points out of this Medium freighter to include all the neat gizmos the Wayfarer boasts, and even if I could technically find a way to fit them all on there, starfighters still wouldn't be able to fit inside--my Medium class wasn't technically large enough.

After playing with the stats a bit, I decided to split the ship up into two sections: it's attached hangar, and the ship itself. Without the cargo-hangar attached, the ship would be classified as a light freighter, but would be considered a heavy freighter with the hangar attached. I figured that would make the ship an interesting buy, and it made sense. In any case, I'll have that stat block posted here in a day or so.

The Shadows will hold you

2008-01-03T04:36:00.001-06:00

The Flames will burn you to nothing.

I was watching some NE mirror replays on WCReplays and was really disappointed. In the first match, the second player just tried to get a bunch of Druids of the Claw vs. Dryads; I think he would have fared much better had he gotten a few bears to soak damage and then trained several Dryads/Archers from his other Ancients. The second and third games were basically huntress mass mirror. It's games like these that really show the sorry state of online strats.

In any case, as most do, I pondered what I would've done had I been playing. Aside from loading up on piercing damage vs. the Dryads, I think I would've chosen a different hero as well; the more I thought about it, the more I decided to try out the Firelord, whom I would discover is a very versatile hero. Not only do his summons have piercing-type damage, but his other two abilites can prevent casting (Soul Burn: 7dmg/sec; no casting; half damage; 14 seconds at lvl 1) and he's got a damage buffer as well (Incinerate: adds damage per hit at the cost of mana).
Well, I hopped on Battle.net to try out the new hero and see what I could do with him. The first match was against another NE; sadly, my strategy did not prevail. The NE went DH with a hard early-game harass; he tech'd to get the Naga Sea Witch and then got Dryads. It wasn't pretty. After what I learned from the next game, I think my problem here was relying on summons: the Firelord's summon spell is expensive, clocking in at 150 mana.

The next game I played was against an Orc player. He went Blademaster primary, which was really killing me early game. My summons weren't proving to be very useful, either; again, the mana cost made them too expensive, and their strengths weren't playing into the situation. A bit worried about what to do, I went ahead and hid my archers, and slowly juggled creeping and fighting off the BM. When my FL got to level 2 I got Soul Burn, which proved amazingly useful for it's mana cost. I selected Warden secondary, with Shadow Strike. When the BM reappeared, I Soul Burn'd him, then use Shadow Strike. After that, it was an easy surround and the BM was down. After I had dealt with the harass I went to creep while training Dryads back at the base. When my army was complete (and I had creeped a bit) I headed in to attack. I had no trouble at all dealing with his Grunts and Raiders, and everytime his BM popped up I was able to take him down with very little hassle; this was easier than killing a hero with Stormbolt.

In any case, I think the primary reason I had so much trouble with the NE was that I went summons first when I should have got Incinerate or Soul Burn. The summons are nice, don't get me wrong: they just don't shine until the larger battles late-game. The spell is a great secondary, I guess you could say.

Anyway, I put two new replays on the site. Enjoy.

If she opens her mouth

2008-01-02T20:29:00.001-06:00

It's to swallow your soul.

Another great quote from Penny-Arcade's Jerry Holkins (Tycho):

More than anything else, I think it was installing Vista that made me hate PC gaming. The constant, system-level interruptions, the impaired compatibility, and most of all the savage kick to my framerate's exposed groin made me wonder what precisely in the fucking fuck I was doing screwing around with this onyx monolith. I knew I was just going to have to upgrade eventually (no), and I wanted to see if there was anything to this DirectX 10 thing (no), and I wanted to see what the Windows version of Live was like (a warcrime) so I bit the bullet. I shouldn't have. It was a bullet! That should have been my first clue.

First Post

2007-12-29T22:18:00.001-06:00

Probably of many.

This blog site seems pretty nice, so I think I'll move over here. I know my blog isn't as interesting or popular as some of the corporate blogs here (Or, that my blog is interesting or popular at all!), but I do like to post.

For archival purposes: My previous two blogs have been at the following locations.
Xanga
LiveJournal